THESE ARE HYSTERICAL...

[BojiHawk]

I think ice fishing is funny.  As in, funny things seem to happen when I go ice fishing.  Not sure if I'm prone to stupid things or if they happen that way by pure luck (or lack thereof) but I want to share two of the best and would like to hear yours:

We were fishing in NW Iowa a few years ago.  Had a tip up out side and 3 poles in an ice hut.  So my flag goes up and my bro and I jump out of the hut since I had on a huge 7" sucker and things were slow.  So I'm watching this tip up spooling out and I wanted to let it go on a good run, then wait to set the treble.  So after about 45 seconds the fish stopped.  I set the hook and it felt like a good fish.  And started to pull it in.  Then it got really big.  Heavy and getting heavier.  Then we heard what sounded like drag going off so we are loking around to see if anyone else has a fish on.  Nope.  Then we hear a noise from the hut...and some smoke coming out the door.  What had happened is this - This northern had taken out so much line it had swam through the lines in the icehut.  As I pulled it in, all 3 lines were hung up on this northern.  One was in its holder making the fish feel huge...one got pulled into the water and added some weight.  But one of these rods miraculously pulled a sweatshirt over a coleman lanter and set it on fire.  So we put on quite a show for the locals who laughed their heads off after they saw my brother swinging a burning sweatshirt over his head and beating it on the ice.

The second place winner is about fire also and is actually a pre-fishing funny story.  This is in NE Nebraska.  We were meeting a buddy of mine's father at a small lake right at sun up.  So we see him pull in at first light - about 5 minutes late.  He gets out of his small truck and we could smell a burning plastic smell.  He proceedes to tell us a hysterical story.  He had filled up a Jon-E-handwarmer and over filled it.  So he mopped up the top of it with a napkin and threw it in the passenger side foot well.  He wanted to get it going so he lit that little wick  that you need to burn for about 30 seconds to get it going and set it on his dash (not smart...).  Well, he hit a bump and the thing goes off the dash while lit and lands right on the napkin that he used to mop up the fuel about 60 seconds before that.  This in turn ignited a newspaper, several pizza slice cardbord holders and a variety of floor trash.  Keeping in mind that he is traveling about 60 on a gravel road he jams on the brakes which causes all of this trash to shift and really take off in a nice little blaze in the front seat.  When he told us the story, we go over to the truck which reavealed he had himself a mini-version of the car from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles smoldering at the ramp. His son and I almost soiled ourself laughing.  To top off the day, his dad had a case of the runs and there were no bathrooms around this small lake.  About 10 am, he couldn't take it anymore.  Went back to the truck, grabbed a half-charred roll of toilet paper from the truck and - when he was walking about 2 hundred yards from us through a bunch of other fisherman (and women) he son yells at the top if his lungs "Hey Smokey!!!   You going to take a crap?"  Which made him do what I now call "the walk of flaming shame".  Absolutely hysterical.

Now this guy has a series of little things happen to him all day.  Snake bitten is not even close to describing it.  By noon it had escalated so much, every time he went to do ANYTHING we watched him.  From stepping in an open tip up hole on the way back to the hut, to dropping his zippo in a hole this guy was totally having a bad day.  So, to invite further disaster, he sets one of those little cork handle poles on his bucket for about 15 seconds and we hadn't had a bite for 20 minutes.  It's almost like his son and I made a fish bite because he pointed at the pole and I see the bobber bouncing..then he does the shhhhhh thing so we can watch this rod go in,....and it does.  So now we are laying on the ice laughing.  His dad is basically doing the same but you could tell he was mad.  The ice was clear (about 4") and this rod was bright orange.  So we can see the rod riding around under the ice...and each time that pole would pay us a visit, his dad would "stalk" it and wait for it to come by an open hole.  So now we truly have some entertainment.  At one point this rod was cruising towards a hole...Dad is waiting at said hole on his knees.  That rod stopped a foot short....turned like a compass needle...and headed out to the middle of this lake.  Tears at this point from laughingand we were kind of tipsy from the blackberry brandy dad was handing out.  To top this off...about an hour later there was a group up wind of us and we could hear them talking.  We had finally stopped laughing for about a half and hour and we're all quiet sitting and jiggin.  Some little kid yells out: "Daddy look!   There's a fishing pole going by!!"  Well...that was it.  We were paralyzed with laughter.

Now...bring on the funnies...:-)

[adkRoy]

Great stories!

[macker13]

Classic stories and well told!  LOL

[prchslyr]

I couldn't even attempt to top that it's got to be the funniest thing I've read on iceshanty. Great story.

[model8]

well i have a story about my self but i posted that on a seperate post a few days ago so ill tell you one about one of my cousins the way it was told to me a few weeks ago.

it all started out on the king with three or four guys. they had a few flags but around noon the action started or so they thought, they had a flag so my cousin runs over and starts to take the tip up out of the hole at that time another flag goes up. now the guy that ows that tip up is probably the biggest BSer in the state of ny, but anyway, he runs over like his house was on fire and he is the only one at the hole. everyone else is with my cousin who thought he had lost the fish. at the same time this other guy is yelling the play by play to any one in ear shot. my cousine finally gets to the end of his line and finds out its the other guys line that has got wraped around his that set his flag off. so the other guy is still calling the play by play, this fish must be huge hes running and i dont have much line left. mycousine cant resist him self he reels off a bunch of line and then stops, keep in mid the other two guys laghing histaricly and about ten other guys around listening to this guy call its gotta be huge to run for two or three minutes, im gonna get this one mounted,and dont forget some on get the gaff and auger this fish wont fit through the hole are you guys comming i got a huge one on over here. so the other guy sets the hook and my cousin lets him reel in about thirty of fourty feet then starts to pull again this guy is still yelling and has no idea because his back is to the others and he never looked to see them laughing. so this goes on for ten minutes and then another of the guys gets a flag and they put the other guys hook and line in the water and my cousin sets his tip up in the hole and goes over to see what the flag was. the other guy is yelling get the gaff get he gaff hes coming up. about one minute later he stops yelling and my cousin says dont tell him just see what he says and play it cool. as they look over he is laying on the ice. the guy with the real flag ices his fish a 28"laker and re sets hit tip up. the y walk over and ask the other guy where the fish is all his line is knoted on the ice and he looks them dead in the eye and says " that was the biggest fish i had ever seen" i couldnt get him throught the hole and i bet he was 40" easy the biggest laker i have ever caught and probably a record. so they ask againg where is it. he guy tells them that he cold not get it through the ice so he cut the line and let the fish go. knowing it was a lie they had to keep a straight face. so the other guys started to walk toward the shanty laughing under their breath. my cousin goes over to set his tip up and he sees some thing in the bottom of the hole against the ice. he reaches in grabs it and it was the other guys hook til this day they never told that guy the diffrence and he still claims to have caught and released a 40" laker

[BojiHawk]

OK...I was talking about funny stories with some people at the bar...namely the guy who's dad started his truck on fire.  And I was laughing about his dad and he brought up a classic that I pulled two winters before that:

Same lake as the handwarmer fire 2 years earlier, this lake (unnamed...sorry) was a pike factory.  And we were dealing with some VERY early ice. Not long after t-giving.  So we pushed our luck with 3" of good clear glare ice.  We rolled the pike.  We had a sled full of fish and it was a gorgeous day.  We fished the south side of the lake that is well shaded due to some bluffs along the shore.  What we didn't realize was that really shallow lakes with glare ice will reflect sunlight off the bottom on the north shore catching rays from the south-sky sun.  As we returned to the vehicle he says "Holy ^&%...look at that"  The shorline was completly open.  So we kept spudding as we walked toward it and it was pretty decent all the way til about 40 feet before the open water.  So I take the sled and get a running push and it glides off the ice, travels about half way to shore and then kind of sinks in about 1 foot of water - no biggie.  I decide the ice must have a fair thick lip and I decide to run and jump off the edge into the water (again - blackberry brandy is a factor).   I take off and push the launch off till I can clear the ice, start the jump off my left foot, which breaks right through the ice and hooks my leg at the ankle and plunges me head first into about 3 feet of water.  I can only imagine being able to observe that.  So when I struggle breathlessly out of the water with 8 northerns and my sled, my buddy is going nuts laughing and turns around to have me pick him up on the other side of the lake.  This is why we only go out about once a year.  We always catch fish...and somehow..someone always suffers misfortune.

[Hardguy]

It is nice to see that this kind of thing happens to others also. And they admit it. If you can not laugh at yourself you are missing a good opportunity.

[happy perch fisher]

lol ussually when my tip off goes off lol i can't wait 45. I ussally just pull it right away lol

[pipes18079]

So many stories to tell so little time.
 I had the bright idea to take a chick on an icefishing trip for a first date. It when well till it was time to pack up so i got the jiffy over my shoulderwhile were walking. She starts to talk to me And I swing around to anser her and I hear a wack. I notice blood all over her temple. Four hours later 8 stiches and a concussion later I say ready for date#2       

[deadsmelthead]

I took a few freinds out that have never been ice fishing a couple of years ago on a very windy 15 degree day with the ice making alot of noise, spiderwebing ect all morning long, so were inside the shanty and these guys are a little on the weary side because the ice is making so much noise and I have to admitt it was constantly cracking and being in the shanty magnified it, and with all the wind blowing I could see how it would make a person feel uneasy. Well the hemmm and they haww for hours and I assure them everything is fine there was 10 inches of solid ice and the cracking was more ice being made, and right after I said that I hear this odd rumbling then WHAM CRASH the shanty moves and tries to tip, these guys were about to well ---- themselves. I jump out of the shanty to see another yet bigger shanty had blown across the lake and slammed into us with 2 guys chasing it the whole way, they were 300 yards behind it when I got out so it must have been movin along they said they were moving it by hand and it just got away from them. I told them if they wanted to fish with us they could have just asked. 

[BojiHawk]

Runaway shantys are pretty hysterical.  I used to have a homemade one...the folding "tombstone" shaped one like eveyone builds.  It was hard to pull with just wooden runners so I put a material called Komatex on the bottoms.  First thing I noticed is that is now so slick that it would catch up to you while you were pulling it..LOL.  So I let go of my tow line, fire up the Jiffy and drill 4 holes and turn around to pull my house over it.....gone.  I see it moving about 5 mph heading for a pressure ridge about 100 yards away.  I'm glad it was there.  Hit the heave and stopped but I took off the middle runners material.  Amazing what a change that made...a couple times after that trip I had to walk behind the house while the wind pushed it...thought about buying some ice skates.

[hunters08]

So many stories to tell so little time.
 I had the bright idea to take a chick on an icefishing trip for a first date. It when well till it was time to pack up so i got the jiffy over my shoulderwhile were walking. She starts to talk to me And I swing around to anser her and I hear a wack. I notice blood all over her temple. Four hours later 8 stiches and a concussion later I say ready for date#2       

:clap:you made this up didnt you

[EGR David]

here's one for the ages.

A fishing buddy of mine had some friends drive up from Tennessee to do some ice fishing in MI.  These guys have never ice fished and really did not know anything regarding ice safety.  With about 12-14 inches of ice we conovinced them that the ice was not safe.  We strung together three inner tubes in a row.  We told the guys that hey should wear them around their waste at all times, and never let the rope slack because they would be getting too close and the ice may crack.  To top it off, everytime the lake made ice (made that distinctive sound) they had to stop spread their legs and stick their arms straight out.  To see these guys walking across the lake in a row and stopping every now and then was as funny as it got, especially when one guy kept saying "whoa" with his tennesee accent.  It is a nice trick to pass on.  Enjoy.

[scansy]

here's one for the ages.

A fishing buddy of mine had some friends drive up from Tennessee to do some ice fishing in MI.  These guys have never ice fished and really did not know anything regarding ice safety.  With about 12-14 inches of ice we conovinced them that the ice was not safe.  We strung together three inner tubes in a row.  We told the guys that hey should wear them around their waste at all times, and never let the rope slack because they would be getting too close and the ice may crack.  To top it off, everytime the lake made ice (made that distinctive sound) they had to stop spread their legs and stick their arms straight out.  To see these guys walking across the lake in a row and stopping every now and then was as funny as it got, especially when one guy kept saying "whoa" with his tennesee accent.  It is a nice trick to pass on.  Enjoy.

That would be mean if it wasn't so funny.

[Buck1985]

So many stories to tell so little time.
 I had the bright idea to take a chick on an icefishing trip for a first date. It when well till it was time to pack up so i got the jiffy over my shoulderwhile were walking. She starts to talk to me And I swing around to anser her and I hear a wack. I notice blood all over her temple. Four hours later 8 stiches and a concussion later I say ready for date#2       

 Did you ever get the second date?

[vermonner]

This is a fun one to do to the rookies
Tell them that the fish are super sensitive and when you walk over them they drop the bait.  Since you don't know which way the fish ran, they have to belly crawl slowly and quietly when they get within 20 feet of a flag so they don't lose the fish.   Tell 'em the really old salts run,dive and belly slide in one smooth motion.  Make sure you have a camera...

[TGF]

Was practicing once a few years back for a coarse fish derby at a lake with highway right beside it. I had to take a crap so looking thru my pack for some toilet paper. By the time I found it, I had to go real bad....not now but right now. No one is coming on the highway so I just drop the overalls and let loose 6 feet from my fishing hole. Aaaahhhhhh relief. No big deal until I see the game wardens truck show up on highway. He pulls over to side of road to come check me out. Here in BC you get fines for littering on ice. I'm thinking he might give me a fine so when he was getting something out of the back of his truck (about 300 yards away) I tossed my ensolite pad over my pile of crap. The warden comes up and checks out my fishing line for proper hooks. Then he checks my lisence out. Then asks me what all those little coarse fish were for and I told him cat food and burbot bait. He says "Do you have any trout". I said "No. He says "Can I check your bucket". I said "Sure help yourself" He checked it then turned towards the ensolite pad on ice and says "So no trout heh, and what do you have under here" as he lifts the pad and sees my excrement that has worked its way down into the ice. I said "Oh crap" he said "Ohhhh". So he didn't fine me and if I had to go to court I would say I couldn't make it to shore.

The next week there I am fishing at the derby and who is coming around but the same game warden checking everyones lisence and rigging. Embarrassing for me. When he gets done with the guy next to me, he gets a half smirk as he nears me. I said to him "You don't need to see my lisence do you". He said "No but you know where the washrooms are don't you"