New Hampshire > Ice Fishing New Hampshire

First ice, brings a tear to my eye.

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I'm not sure how many of y'all got to ice fish with my father Rand and I. but if you have, you know my dad was a F***ing hilarious guy to get on the ice with, between chasing the dog, ski/biking accross the ice and being a total goof all around, never losing his temper, and always pulling a new gadget out of his @$$, it was never boring having him around. As bad of an anger problem that me and my father both have, you will never see anything but a smile on our faces on the ice. Since I had no license, dad was usualy my only way of getting to the ice, so we did a lot of fishing this past winter, and I totaly took for granted every moment I spent with him. the saying "you dont know what you got 'till its gone" has never had such an affect on me.

This morning on my way to school, I saw first ice, it was beautiful. but damn did I ever come unglued.

My dad commited suicide a couple months ago, and along with that my girlfriend of two years dumped me, and I got laid off both of my jobs. needles to say, I've had a crapty couple of months. and to top it off my ex girlfriend and mother had me admited to a mental hospital for suicidal thoughts of myself. spent 2 weeks in a hospital against my own will. when I saw that ice today, I remembered all of the times my dad had taken me out, and put me before himself, he would put aside work, friends and himself to help me buld my first ice shack, and get out with me early in the season and spend countless hours on the ice. I wouldnt have ever gotten into fishing if it werent for him, he put a fihsing pole in my hands when I was 2, down in florida fishing for bass. I never thought about how cool it was having him teach me everything he knew about open water fishing, and being able to teach him everything I knew about ice fishing, It was probably the only thing in the world I would ever be able to teach him, he had a lot to share with me, he was a Navy SEAL, flew F-4 fours in the marines, a doctor, a teacher, a commercail pilot, a dad, husband and friend to many, never in my life did I ever think I would be able to teach a guy with so much under his belt, but there I was, showing him my new vex, or auger, or what a sounder was for.

This year is going to be a really lonely year on the ice, the only friends I brought on the ice were my dog, my girlfriend and my dad, all three of which have come and gone. I will never in my life forget the time I spent on the ice with my dad, dog and girlfriend. I can only pray I will meet people to be with on the ice and share the love of the sport with, tonight it dawned on me that I had a whole group of people who loved the ice, and people I will be able to be with this winter. I dont still dont know how hard it will be for me to go on the ice, none the less alone, I already know I broke down into tears when I pulled my sled out of storage, it has been in my living room for over a week, and I havn't been able to touch it, I see my dads camping stove and my dogs long leash, those two things have kept me from digging deeper into my sled of ice fishing stuff and memories.

I really wanted to post this asking for prayers, for my father and myself, I hope to see many of y'all on the ice this year, and I pray that my dad and dog will still be by my side on the ice, watching over me and keeping me safe and a smile on my face.

thanks for reading this, I am really sorry this isnt exactly about ice fishing, but I figured I could share it with guys that I might be on the ice with this year. thanks a lot guys, take care.


Neal , i cant begin to tell you how sorry I am to hear of your losses...that is  lot to deal with...the grilfreind well, it may not seem it but they come and go and they all seem like the one when they are there...but trust me you are young and will have plenty of em.

not so with your Dad. I did fish with you both. I remember him CCskiing around hancock pond in denmark, while we fished...he didnt fish but he brought you all that way so you could and my first impression was certainly...what a great friend and father this guy is to his kid. I'm sure you have a lot to deal with and will for some time to come. you have friends here Bud. you are a very strong willed young man and will overcome this , try to focus on the positives.

I hope to see you on the ice this year again!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, be strong, things will get better. As time goes on the good memories will outweigh the painful ones.                                               

Neal,  my thoughts and prayers go out to you.  Nobody can begin to place themselves in your position or can even fatham your loss.  Please keep in mind that you father will always be a part of your life.  Take what lessons he has taught you and don't let them go to waist.  Every time one of those lessons comes in hand, take the time to thank him...  Be proud to of had a man as kind and great as your father was, who spent time with his son.  Remember, each time you see "First Ice", thats your personal reminder that your dad is right beside you. 

Tight Lines, Chuck...

God Bless you man.


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