IceShanty.com's Ice Fishing Community
Montana => Ice Fishing Montana => Topic started by: Cornbread on Jan 06, 2013, 09:16 PM
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Tonight I was cleaning some perch my GF and I caught earlier in the day and as I was cleaning them I noticed that the way I clean perch means their roe sacks come out fully intact.
“Those kind of look tasty” I said to myself thinking back to salmon roe I have eaten in the past. “I wonder if they are edible?” So I sat down and Googled perch roe recipes and sure enough people said they are good but are “an acquired taste”. I am OK with fishy taste, and I have a really, really, really strong stomach. I can keep pretty much anything down, including bear steak where the bear has been eating fish, which most people can’t even touch without gagging.
So I figured I was a pretty good candidate for acquiring the taste for my new found delicacy. So from what I read they are best deep fried fresh until fully cooked all the way through. So I figured “why not? I’ll toss a few in a pot of hot oil and let them fry while I clean the others and then try them”.
I figured I would try four since they are small, and really what kind of man can’t bolt down four such tiny morsels even if they end up not tasting good, right?
I let them fry for a good long time until they were a deep golden brown. I took the first one out and sliced it in half. The consistency inside looked a bit like cooked pork sausage where the pork is finely ground. I blew on it a little, sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth.
Here were my initial thoughts:
Oh my!.....Oh yes!........I do believe……..yes, I’m positive…….this tastes exactly like the battalion bathrooms smelled after our entire platoon hit them after 60 days in the field during the Gulf War……only fishier.
Well I hate waste so I now was faced with 3.5 more of what can only be described as the culinary equivalent of a swift kick to nuts. Something so foul, it is actually painful to eat.
“I know” I thought “I’ll cover it in good Dijon mustard, that will hide the taste”. I quickly discovered two things. “A”, no it won’t, and “B”, it didn’t. It simply tasted like freeze dried exhaust fumes with Dijon mustard on them. Mmmmmmm Yummy!
Only three more to go.
The next one I tried putting a bunch of salt and pepper on because they kind of look like Chinese wontons so maybe I could fool my taste buds in to thinking they were salt and pepper wontons. Apparently my taste buds don’t care what a deep fried fish turd looks like; they still taste it as a salt and peppery fried fish turd.
Two more to go.
Well maybe if I roll this one in spicy Chinese mustard it will over power my taste buds and I won’t taste the liquid fish butt of the roe? This unexpectedly sort of worked, but I had to use so much hot mustard I was banging the table and crying “sweet love of petunias that stings” as my nose hairs fell out on the table. After the initial blast of mustard crying hotness….yep there it was……the unmistakable taste of that weapon of mass destruction known as perch roe.
One to go.
“How can anything so small, taste so awful?” I thought to myself as I stared down the final piece of fish death waiting quietly on my plate. “I mean those people on the internet who said it was tasty must have liked it……….oh wait”. And then it hit me, those people were probably old Norwegians.
You see I am Norwegian and I come from a background where at Christmas every year when I was little my older relatives would encourage me to “have just a little piece of Lutefisk” because they were sure “I would like it”. Every year, it was the exact same, it still tasted like somebody threw up in my mouth for me, then had me eat it, after they had, had fish earlier that day. I came to realize that my older relatives had gone through something I refer to affectionately as “Tastebudelpause” this is where you become so old that your taste buds no longer work at all. They have simply given up and died ahead of time and are just waiting for the rest of you to follow suit. This is the only possible explanation for how they can eat and enjoy Lutefisk. It must have been these same elderly Norwegians who had posted those perch roe recipes on the internet. Either that or it was somebody playing a really cruel joke on the rest of the internet world.
It is still there, looking at me, defying me to eat it. My stomach is sweating internally in silent encouragement for me to simply toss it in the garbage. No, I will not sink so low, I cooked it, I will eat it!
You know in the fishing regulations where it says “only inedible portions of game fish may be used for bait” or something along those lines? People are always saying “which parts are the inedible portions?”. I’m here to tell you folks, it is the roe of perch they are talking about, only it is so horrible tasting they cannot bring themselves to print those words or people will know they actually tried it once.
It is still there.
“OK Marine!” I say to myself “Time for you to just woof it down boot camp style and get this behind you”. So I do “Oh sweet spawn of all things dark and hideous” I think as the awful, thick taste of liquid fish butt once again passes over my taste buds and in to my stomach, which at this point thinks it has done something terribly wrong and is being punished for it. I try and assure it that no, it has done nothing wrong, because to deserve this level of punishment it would have had to have committed war crimes or something equally awful, no, this is simply a culinary trial gone terribly, terribly wrong.
Then mercifully it is all over, the final one has been consumed. I feel a sense of accomplishment; I too have eaten perch roe!!!! I feel like I should call someone and tell them I have done such an amazing thing, but no, I have a better idea……
………I am off to post a five star review on some of those perch roe recipes so others can enjoy them too ;)
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Good job marine lol, i'll give you credit but now im laughing so hard it hurts.
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I'm about peeing myself reading this Andy!!!!
Now I doubt you'll try this and I don't blame you, but it's good. I like raw perch roe on a cracker with tabasco sauce. You don't eat the whole sac at once, just spread a thin layer on a cracker and dribble some sauce on it.
Wanna come over for supper and try it sometime?!?
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I am glad I took the time to read funny, picture painted description! I too, have wondered about eatin them, but not so much, now!
Pyro
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Done tried it once, once is all I need, never again.
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hahahaha, hilarious.
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Andrew Zimmern would be mighty proud of you.....send him a batch, see how he does. Next time maybe a good chaser of cheap tequila would make take your mind of the fish butt taste.
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Haha this is awesome!!! ;D
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hahahahah great story
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It was good of you not to waste perfectly good perch roe ;)
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Eatin it ain't nothin..... Just wait till you fart. Or take that next dump :o
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Eatin it ain't nothin..... Just wait till you fart. Or take that next dump :o
hahahahahahah...this is a great story!! And Stephan_K has a good point, that might not be pretty coming back out :(
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oh man you could have had fish head soup on the side :sick:
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Was laughing out loud ... so hard my wife was looking at me like I was crazy .... ;D :) ;D
I have a strict rule no guts, no nuts, no brains .... that applies unilaterally to things that swim or are on the hoof ....
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Ha ha. I have seen a few of those recipes and though of trying them. Not any more
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Tried em once, agree 100%!!!
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:sick: Thanks for the good laugh! :roflmao:
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My former FIL used to eat those things all the time! Like you, it seemed like such a waste, what with all those egg sacks ending up in the trash. But back to the former FIL. This is the same guy that eats garlic cloves like most folks eat peanuts when we're on a fishing trip! Couldn't even sleep at night cause the man had the camper smelling like a salami!!!!! I tried 'em once.........that was enough for me to know better ever again! What's really strange, however, is that I can eat trout roe right out of the fish.....prefer them lightly salted......with no problem???
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Beverage on the monitor, a few tears, changing the shorts next.
Cornbread, this may earn you a spot in "The Ice Fishing Stories Shanty"
(see) http://www.iceshanty.com/ice_fishing/index.php?board=97.0 (http://www.iceshanty.com/ice_fishing/index.php?board=97.0)
As I was leaving a hot perch hole, I dropped a plump, broken roe as a test. 3 days later, it was untouched and the hole was, again, productive. It may still be there. :o
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There are no words! I'm glad I know what fish ass will taste like if given the opportunity
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Cook in Sauerkraut, Something like two wrongs make a right??? Since both taste like POOP its got to be good???
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I knew there was no way those things could be edible. Thanks for doing the ground work Andy. I don't even want to catch a perch now!
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:sick: I am sure it was not funny while trying to eat these, But in hindsight that has goota be the funniest story I have ever read! :roflmao: You deserve a medal for this CB!!
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I've been considering trying some for awhile now...thanks for the warning....never will I ever try now ...your story says it all lol. Good effort out there!
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Thanks guys :)
The fellow who mentioned the after effects was right. The burps I had from that last night were so bad it made me nearly want to cry. Did you know you can still smell your own burps if you plug your nose when burping? I didn't until last night. Thankfully by this morning the queasy stomach and the evil burps of outer darkness were over.
The guys who mentioned trout and salmon roe being fairly tasty I agree with. What I can't understand is how something with meat that tastes so good like perch can have roe that is so foul compared with the other roe I have had. I can safely say it is one of the worst things I have ever tried in my entire life.
Thank goodness the GF went to her place yesterday after fishing and didn't try any of these or have to deal with the after effects of me eating them.
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Oh man...and I thought you had hit the end of that stuff with the spent salmon...perch eggs, not a chance. Did the girlfriend witness this fiasco?
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Oh man...and I thought you had hit the end of that stuff with the spent salmon...perch eggs, not a chance. Did the girlfriend witness this fiasco?
Thankfully no. She didn't have to witness any of this although I did send her the story. I think she is really glad I decided to try this after she went home.
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If it looks like bait so use. Thankyou for your time in service. :tipup:
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:clap: :clap: :bow: :bow:
Thanks for that laugh. I needed that!
MTA
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Last year after the Saturday LMR Perch Assault, the usual fish fry hosted by our Helena friends took a turn for the worse when the "fried eggs" taste tests began. Like Grits, eating something that results in the most horrific facial expressions, has never been appealing to me. I abstained but many who tried them had much the same impression as CB...but explained it far less poetically.
If there is ever an Ice Shanty Nobel for Entertainment...Andy's face needs to be on the trophy.
Mike
www.aablefishing.com (http://www.aablefishing.com)
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CB:
I, too, really enjoyed your yarn! You do a great job of painting a laugh-out-loud picture of your experience(s).
Now, that being said, I must offer a differing POV. As I've mentioned in previous posts, perch eggs either battered or coated with seasoned flour, and fried to a golden brown, are a personal favorite. They must not be undercooked, however. The flavor of semi-raw perch eggs is very off-putting, and it's easy to undercook them because a small fish can yield a 1/2" to 3/4"-thick roe sac.
Of course, you must keep in mind, that my father has always said of me: "That kid has a cast iron gut. . ." (And "that kid" is certainly no longer a kid!)
Best wishes in all of your culinary adventures,
eyewinder
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All I have to say is....." Man VS. Perch Roe"....Roe Won! ;)
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haha Great Story!!! :clap:
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I actually enjoy eating perch eggs. I just semi-freeze the skeins, then slice them in medallion sections. Dust in bisquick, and slow fry in butter until nice and crispy. I think they are pretty clean tasting -just the malt-o-meal texture is weird.
I generally throw them away unless I get a substantial number of skeins. They aren't exactly something I crave -and no, I am not Norwegian.
I think CB should try to NOT stink-palm the eggs before frying -that may have been the problem. Crotch marinades are not recommended.
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LOL, this has to be one of the best stories ever!
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Congrats on giving it the old college try!
And thanks for sparing me the pain of doing so! ;D
Nice write-up, I was LMAO.
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For sure not as tough as you, could not do that, funny story though
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Cornbread,
Your a better man than I am.
Good story
Maddogg
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awesome story bread.. you need to spend a month in a cabin somewhere up the thompson river drainage and write us a book...tried the roe once myself..it looks so healthy and orange..i crunched in it raw my mouth....shock..spit it out...and brushed my tongue with pabst....uuuhhhhggghhh ......nasty....
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talked me out of trying it
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Ok, be a real man and eat the sperm sacs, those probably taste like the little peep marshmellows at Easter ;D
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***burp***
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I do believe they are an acquired taste. For those brave souls with more hair on they're nads than I, the time I tried them, my FIL cooked them up so I know those ones were done up as HE liked them........but....... ..sorry.......I just threw up in my mouth a little.........they were still bad enough to gag a maggot!!!!!
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Great story
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that is some funny S#*t cornbread. hate throwing them away too. tried frying some up once form some flathead perch..... no bueno!
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I am Norwegian, and as I filleting some perch the other night I looked at the roe sacs and told my wife "do you believe people actually eat these"?
Dam funny story!!!
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That is the best (and best written) story I have read in a long time! I would love to hear that story in person after a six pack or two!
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laughing my ass off!!!!
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A buddy of mine from Wisconsin swears that perch eggs fried in garlic butter is the best thing since sliced bread. Me personally, I've never tried them. After reading this I'm not too sure I want to.
Too Funny!!
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Okay, had to try them. Got a few perch yesterday and remembered reading this so just had to try. I had them years ago and didn't think they were bad other than the texture. I was a little nervous last night after reading this but I have to say they are not nasty as described. I would say they were actually a bit flavorless, but again the texture is a little tough to get by. Just fried one up dredged in flour and season salt in butter, after it was partially cooked I flattened it a bit and gave it a good fry to make sure they were fully cooked. Actually I'll probably do it again.
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Tinker:
:thumbsup: --I'll leave it at that. . .
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I ate them as a kid. They weren't any worse than calf fries.
Jay
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Holy crap....that's prolly the funiest post I've ever read on I.S. Thanks for the laugh man. Good luck fishing out there!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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nice post
Just curious? did you bread or batter them first? were they hard when you cooked them? I have cooked them before and got two females to say they tasted good....I think if you over cooked them they would not taste as good, and if not seasoned or breaded they wouldnt be as good especially if over cooked....I have had them a couple different ways, once I marinated them then tempura battered them they were great...also I suppose it would depend on how long the fish had been dead
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Andy, Andy, Andy,
You forgot to fertilize them first!
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I fished with a guy that eats perch and walleye roe like its candy,smelled like a$$!
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boy as a man who enjoys antelope tar tar....i cut yellow fin tuna up right off the line in the boat...and as one who has tried perch caviar...ok..ok.. i'll try it again...but maybe i'll eat a spoon full of wasabi..then try it tonite...got a couple of 12 inch hogs i am ready to fillet....i am getting a pabst and i'm going for it.....
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Ok, be a real man and eat the sperm sacs, those probably taste like the little peep marshmellows at Easter ;D
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHHAHAA!!!! Great laugh!
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Had to read it twice, my eyes were watering and my sides ached, got to be the best article on eating any part of any fish! Good job!!
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Now that right there was a good story and well worth reading. When will your book be finished and where can we get copies? LOL :)
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Great story, one of the funniest that I have ever read. Good luck in your culinary endeavors.
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:clap: :roflmao:
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Sounds like a tale straight out of a Patrick McManus book! Thanks for the chuckle!
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Hahaha great story. I've tried them myself a few different times. I'm not a big fan,but it really wasn't the taste it was the texture I couldn't get use too. I battered them in Andy's Cajun batter And deep fried them. My buddy always said you can batter a dog turd in that stuff and it'll taste good!!
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Thanks for posting this I found this through the recipe page... I have 2 egg sacs soaking in milk right now... I will just throw them out. I don't have what it takes to eat this. I thought that the last time I cooked it about a year ago I just did something wrong... I cant imagine that this many people could cook it improperly and all have the same conclusion...
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There was a recipe posted on montanaoutdoor.com last week that used them in a pasta. Haven't been brave enough to try yet
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No one who walks on frozen water in pursuit of a fish should be afraid of a cluster of perch eggs. As they ripen (next month or so) they become even tastier. Roll 'em in seasoned flour and fry 'em up crisp (as I've mentioned before). If they aren't cooked all the way through, you will hate them.
I'm no Andrew Zimmern, but I really do consider fried perch roe a treat! :thumbsup:
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Real men eat perch roe.
...and that is why I am a boy.
:bow:
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Real men eat perch roe.
...and that is why I am a boy.
:bow:
Meee, tooo, buddy! A couple years ago I was "gifted" a small mason jar containing 3-4 tablespoons of a milky, gelatinous substance with thousands of specks that looked like poppy seeds. The fella said it was paddlefish roe and that it was wonderful on crackers. After a week of trying to psyche myself up to try it, I had to just give it back to the guy in shame. I couldn't do it. He loved the stuff.
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:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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I had to resurrect this thread for my own selfish enjoyment. ;D
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next time i get my buddies drunk there getting deep fried perch eggs
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nothing better then fried perch eggs with a side of bacon and hash browns. eggs over easy please.
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:sick:
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Whatever happened to Cornbread Andy?
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Ok boys time for the classic to be resurrected. Who's gonna try them? I, for one, will not.
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I caught some pike the other week that had eggs in them...I thought for about a second about trying them. A second is all though. 😆
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I made the mistake of trying to read this post at my office, and I burst out laughing so hard when a patient was walking by!
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Whatever happened to Cornbread Andy?
Andy is doing fine and still in W. MT. I don't think he has tried perch roe again.
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Thanks for the laughs . I now know what to serve her mother when she comes over.
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Last night while filleting the days catch(perch) with family and friends I recalled a story on The Shanty. I guess why I thought of the "cautionary tale" was from the egg sack that I didn't cut thru while filleting. Anyway, I started laughing to myself and then mentioned the hilarious story. This morning I did a search and reread the original thread and it was still as funny as the 1st time I read it. I felt it was worth replying to even tho it originated several years ago. So to all the new members in the past few years or to others that missed this thread, click page 1 and enjoy!
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Tonight I was cleaning some perch my GF and I caught earlier in the day and as I was cleaning them I noticed that the way I clean perch means their roe sacks come out fully intact.
“Those kind of look tasty” I said to myself thinking back to salmon roe I have eaten in the past. “I wonder if they are edible?” So I sat down and Googled perch roe recipes and sure enough people said they are good but are “an acquired taste”. I am OK with fishy taste, and I have a really, really, really strong stomach. I can keep pretty much anything down, including bear steak where the bear has been eating fish, which most people can’t even touch without gagging.
So I figured I was a pretty good candidate for acquiring the taste for my new found delicacy. So from what I read they are best deep fried fresh until fully cooked all the way through. So I figured “why not? I’ll toss a few in a pot of hot oil and let them fry while I clean the others and then try them”.
I figured I would try four since they are small, and really what kind of man can’t bolt down four such tiny morsels even if they end up not tasting good, right?
I let them fry for a good long time until they were a deep golden brown. I took the first one out and sliced it in half. The consistency inside looked a bit like cooked pork sausage where the pork is finely ground. I blew on it a little, sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth.
Here were my initial thoughts:
Oh my!.....Oh yes!........I do believe……..yes, I’m positive…….this tastes exactly like the battalion bathrooms smelled after our entire platoon hit them after 60 days in the field during the Gulf War……only fishier.
Well I hate waste so I now was faced with 3.5 more of what can only be described as the culinary equivalent of a swift kick to nuts. Something so foul, it is actually painful to eat.
“I know” I thought “I’ll cover it in good Dijon mustard, that will hide the taste”. I quickly discovered two things. “A”, no it won’t, and “B”, it didn’t. It simply tasted like freeze dried exhaust fumes with Dijon mustard on them. Mmmmmmm Yummy!
Only three more to go.
The next one I tried putting a bunch of salt and pepper on because they kind of look like Chinese wontons so maybe I could fool my taste buds in to thinking they were salt and pepper wontons. Apparently my taste buds don’t care what a deep fried fish turd looks like; they still taste it as a salt and peppery fried fish turd.
Two more to go.
Well maybe if I roll this one in spicy Chinese mustard it will over power my taste buds and I won’t taste the liquid fish butt of the roe? This unexpectedly sort of worked, but I had to use so much hot mustard I was banging the table and crying “sweet love of petunias that stings” as my nose hairs fell out on the table. After the initial blast of mustard crying hotness….yep there it was……the unmistakable taste of that weapon of mass destruction known as perch roe.
One to go.
“How can anything so small, taste so awful?” I thought to myself as I stared down the final piece of fish death waiting quietly on my plate. “I mean those people on the internet who said it was tasty must have liked it……….oh wait”. And then it hit me, those people were probably old Norwegians.
You see I am Norwegian and I come from a background where at Christmas every year when I was little my older relatives would encourage me to “have just a little piece of Lutefisk” because they were sure “I would like it”. Every year, it was the exact same, it still tasted like somebody threw up in my mouth for me, then had me eat it, after they had, had fish earlier that day. I came to realize that my older relatives had gone through something I refer to affectionately as “Tastebudelpause” this is where you become so old that your taste buds no longer work at all. They have simply given up and died ahead of time and are just waiting for the rest of you to follow suit. This is the only possible explanation for how they can eat and enjoy Lutefisk. It must have been these same elderly Norwegians who had posted those perch roe recipes on the internet. Either that or it was somebody playing a really cruel joke on the rest of the internet world.
It is still there, looking at me, defying me to eat it. My stomach is sweating internally in silent encouragement for me to simply toss it in the garbage. No, I will not sink so low, I cooked it, I will eat it!
You know in the fishing regulations where it says “only inedible portions of game fish may be used for bait” or something along those lines? People are always saying “which parts are the inedible portions?”. I’m here to tell you folks, it is the roe of perch they are talking about, only it is so horrible tasting they cannot bring themselves to print those words or people will know they actually tried it once.
It is still there.
“OK Marine!” I say to myself “Time for you to just woof it down boot camp style and get this behind you”. So I do “Oh sweet spawn of all things dark and hideous” I think as the awful, thick taste of liquid fish butt once again passes over my taste buds and in to my stomach, which at this point thinks it has done something terribly wrong and is being punished for it. I try and assure it that no, it has done nothing wrong, because to deserve this level of punishment it would have had to have committed war crimes or something equally awful, no, this is simply a culinary trial gone terribly, terribly wrong.
Then mercifully it is all over, the final one has been consumed. I feel a sense of accomplishment; I too have eaten perch roe!!!! I feel like I should call someone and tell them I have done such an amazing thing, but no, I have a better idea……
………I am off to post a five star review on some of those perch roe recipes so others can enjoy them too ;)
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I like making caviar. I've made caviar from perch roe, and think it is just as good as caviar made from pike, lake trout, kokanee, and lake whitefish roe.
For some pictures and descriptions of making caviar, see http://www.northwestkayakanglers.com/index.php?topic=20320.msg215096#msg215096.
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I like making caviar. I've made caviar from perch roe, and think it is just as good as caviar made from pike, lake trout, kokanee, and lake whitefish roe.
For some pictures and descriptions of making caviar, see http://www.northwestkayakanglers.com/index.php?topic=20320.msg215096#msg215096.
yes I agree pete..but the point was not about the roe..but the fabulous well written story by andy...our hilarious..well spoken....awesomningly corn breadin marine.....
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Hes back!!! Lol:)
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Love when this gets resurrected each year! Still laugh every time.
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;D ;D ;D ;D funniest damn story ever lmao
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Thanks for reposting this ccc. For some reason I had not seen that story prior to a few minutes ago. Made my day. I too had to hold back laughter while reading this in my office.
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Tonight I was cleaning some perch my GF and I caught earlier in the day and as I was cleaning them I noticed that the way I clean perch means their roe sacks come out fully intact.
“Those kind of look tasty” I said to myself thinking back to salmon roe I have eaten in the past. “I wonder if they are edible?” So I sat down and Googled perch roe recipes and sure enough people said they are good but are “an acquired taste”. I am OK with fishy taste, and I have a really, really, really strong stomach. I can keep pretty much anything down, including bear steak where the bear has been eating fish, which most people can’t even touch without gagging.
So I figured I was a pretty good candidate for acquiring the taste for my new found delicacy. So from what I read they are best deep fried fresh until fully cooked all the way through. So I figured “why not? I’ll toss a few in a pot of hot oil and let them fry while I clean the others and then try them”.
I figured I would try four since they are small, and really what kind of man can’t bolt down four such tiny morsels even if they end up not tasting good, right?
I let them fry for a good long time until they were a deep golden brown. I took the first one out and sliced it in half. The consistency inside looked a bit like cooked pork sausage where the pork is finely ground. I blew on it a little, sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth.
Here were my initial thoughts:
Oh my!.....Oh yes!........I do believe……..yes, I’m positive…….this tastes exactly like the battalion bathrooms smelled after our entire platoon hit them after 60 days in the field during the Gulf War……only fishier.
Well I hate waste so I now was faced with 3.5 more of what can only be described as the culinary equivalent of a swift kick to nuts. Something so foul, it is actually painful to eat.
“I know” I thought “I’ll cover it in good Dijon mustard, that will hide the taste”. I quickly discovered two things. “A”, no it won’t, and “B”, it didn’t. It simply tasted like freeze dried exhaust fumes with Dijon mustard on them. Mmmmmmm Yummy!
Only three more to go.
The next one I tried putting a bunch of salt and pepper on because they kind of look like Chinese wontons so maybe I could fool my taste buds in to thinking they were salt and pepper wontons. Apparently my taste buds don’t care what a deep fried fish turd looks like; they still taste it as a salt and peppery fried fish turd.
Two more to go.
Well maybe if I roll this one in spicy Chinese mustard it will over power my taste buds and I won’t taste the liquid fish butt of the roe? This unexpectedly sort of worked, but I had to use so much hot mustard I was banging the table and crying “sweet love of petunias that stings” as my nose hairs fell out on the table. After the initial blast of mustard crying hotness….yep there it was……the unmistakable taste of that weapon of mass destruction known as perch roe.
One to go.
“How can anything so small, taste so awful?” I thought to myself as I stared down the final piece of fish death waiting quietly on my plate. “I mean those people on the internet who said it was tasty must have liked it……….oh wait”. And then it hit me, those people were probably old Norwegians.
You see I am Norwegian and I come from a background where at Christmas every year when I was little my older relatives would encourage me to “have just a little piece of Lutefisk” because they were sure “I would like it”. Every year, it was the exact same, it still tasted like somebody threw up in my mouth for me, then had me eat it, after they had, had fish earlier that day. I came to realize that my older relatives had gone through something I refer to affectionately as “Tastebudelpause” this is where you become so old that your taste buds no longer work at all. They have simply given up and died ahead of time and are just waiting for the rest of you to follow suit. This is the only possible explanation for how they can eat and enjoy Lutefisk. It must have been these same elderly Norwegians who had posted those perch roe recipes on the internet. Either that or it was somebody playing a really cruel joke on the rest of the internet world.
It is still there, looking at me, defying me to eat it. My stomach is sweating internally in silent encouragement for me to simply toss it in the garbage. No, I will not sink so low, I cooked it, I will eat it!
You know in the fishing regulations where it says “only inedible portions of game fish may be used for bait” or something along those lines? People are always saying “which parts are the inedible portions?”. I’m here to tell you folks, it is the roe of perch they are talking about, only it is so horrible tasting they cannot bring themselves to print those words or people will know they actually tried it once.
It is still there.
“OK Marine!” I say to myself “Time for you to just woof it down boot camp style and get this behind you”. So I do “Oh sweet spawn of all things dark and hideous” I think as the awful, thick taste of liquid fish butt once again passes over my taste buds and in to my stomach, which at this point thinks it has done something terribly wrong and is being punished for it. I try and assure it that no, it has done nothing wrong, because to deserve this level of punishment it would have had to have committed war crimes or something equally awful, no, this is simply a culinary trial gone terribly, terribly wrong.
Then mercifully it is all over, the final one has been consumed. I feel a sense of accomplishment; I too have eaten perch roe!!!! I feel like I should call someone and tell them I have done such an amazing thing, but no, I have a better idea……
………I am off to post a five star review on some of those perch roe recipes so others can enjoy them too ;)
Semper Fi, Jarhead, from an old early 80's 0311..
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thanks for the resurection
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Cornbread's writing reminds me of Patrick McManus! Enjoyed the story!
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Still hilarious!!!
Tonight I was cleaning some perch my GF and I caught earlier in the day and as I was cleaning them I noticed that the way I clean perch means their roe sacks come out fully intact.
“Those kind of look tasty” I said to myself thinking back to salmon roe I have eaten in the past. “I wonder if they are edible?” So I sat down and Googled perch roe recipes and sure enough people said they are good but are “an acquired taste”. I am OK with fishy taste, and I have a really, really, really strong stomach. I can keep pretty much anything down, including bear steak where the bear has been eating fish, which most people can’t even touch without gagging.
So I figured I was a pretty good candidate for acquiring the taste for my new found delicacy. So from what I read they are best deep fried fresh until fully cooked all the way through. So I figured “why not? I’ll toss a few in a pot of hot oil and let them fry while I clean the others and then try them”.
I figured I would try four since they are small, and really what kind of man can’t bolt down four such tiny morsels even if they end up not tasting good, right?
I let them fry for a good long time until they were a deep golden brown. I took the first one out and sliced it in half. The consistency inside looked a bit like cooked pork sausage where the pork is finely ground. I blew on it a little, sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth.
Here were my initial thoughts:
Oh my!.....Oh yes!........I do believe……..yes, I’m positive…….this tastes exactly like the battalion bathrooms smelled after our entire platoon hit them after 60 days in the field during the Gulf War……only fishier.
Well I hate waste so I now was faced with 3.5 more of what can only be described as the culinary equivalent of a swift kick to nuts. Something so foul, it is actually painful to eat.
“I know” I thought “I’ll cover it in good Dijon mustard, that will hide the taste”. I quickly discovered two things. “A”, no it won’t, and “B”, it didn’t. It simply tasted like freeze dried exhaust fumes with Dijon mustard on them. Mmmmmmm Yummy!
Only three more to go.
The next one I tried putting a bunch of salt and pepper on because they kind of look like Chinese wontons so maybe I could fool my taste buds in to thinking they were salt and pepper wontons. Apparently my taste buds don’t care what a deep fried fish turd looks like; they still taste it as a salt and peppery fried fish turd.
Two more to go.
Well maybe if I roll this one in spicy Chinese mustard it will over power my taste buds and I won’t taste the liquid fish butt of the roe? This unexpectedly sort of worked, but I had to use so much hot mustard I was banging the table and crying “sweet love of petunias that stings” as my nose hairs fell out on the table. After the initial blast of mustard crying hotness….yep there it was……the unmistakable taste of that weapon of mass destruction known as perch roe.
One to go.
“How can anything so small, taste so awful?” I thought to myself as I stared down the final piece of fish death waiting quietly on my plate. “I mean those people on the internet who said it was tasty must have liked it……….oh wait”. And then it hit me, those people were probably old Norwegians.
You see I am Norwegian and I come from a background where at Christmas every year when I was little my older relatives would encourage me to “have just a little piece of Lutefisk” because they were sure “I would like it”. Every year, it was the exact same, it still tasted like somebody threw up in my mouth for me, then had me eat it, after they had, had fish earlier that day. I came to realize that my older relatives had gone through something I refer to affectionately as “Tastebudelpause” this is where you become so old that your taste buds no longer work at all. They have simply given up and died ahead of time and are just waiting for the rest of you to follow suit. This is the only possible explanation for how they can eat and enjoy Lutefisk. It must have been these same elderly Norwegians who had posted those perch roe recipes on the internet. Either that or it was somebody playing a really cruel joke on the rest of the internet world.
It is still there, looking at me, defying me to eat it. My stomach is sweating internally in silent encouragement for me to simply toss it in the garbage. No, I will not sink so low, I cooked it, I will eat it!
You know in the fishing regulations where it says “only inedible portions of game fish may be used for bait” or something along those lines? People are always saying “which parts are the inedible portions?”. I’m here to tell you folks, it is the roe of perch they are talking about, only it is so horrible tasting they cannot bring themselves to print those words or people will know they actually tried it once.
It is still there.
“OK Marine!” I say to myself “Time for you to just woof it down boot camp style and get this behind you”. So I do “Oh sweet spawn of all things dark and hideous” I think as the awful, thick taste of liquid fish butt once again passes over my taste buds and in to my stomach, which at this point thinks it has done something terribly wrong and is being punished for it. I try and assure it that no, it has done nothing wrong, because to deserve this level of punishment it would have had to have committed war crimes or something equally awful, no, this is simply a culinary trial gone terribly, terribly wrong.
Then mercifully it is all over, the final one has been consumed. I feel a sense of accomplishment; I too have eaten perch roe!!!! I feel like I should call someone and tell them I have done such an amazing thing, but no, I have a better idea……
………I am off to post a five star review on some of those perch roe recipes so others can enjoy them too ;)
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I completely agree...still a golden-classic! However, given that it's been 5 years since his experience, has anyone found a suitable use, culinary or otherwise, for the excessive amount of perch eggs?!? Bait perhaps? I tried frying them up, but while the the outside gets crusty, the innards stay gooey...personally, I'm also crossing the culinary aspect off the list!
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Compost
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This post is beyond incredible haha, Thank you for venturing where most of us dare not go...
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Never been tempted to eat them, but was wondering about curing them like ya do steelhead and salmon roe. Anybody ever try curing them?
That was a well told tale of Daring and Bravery. Sorry but I ain't gonna try em. Nope Not Gonna Do It.
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I'd rank them right up there with sauteed goat eyeballs. And yes, I have eaten them....... eggs, not the eyeballs. LOL
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Glad this got brought back up, always had a laugh reading this.
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Eating undercooked perch roe can give you "aroma virus". Be certain they're really well done and wash your hands before eating.
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My wife is Korean so I’ve had the opportunity to get to know and love Korean cuisine. If any of you ever have the opportunity to eat in a good Korean restauran, you might see a dish called Al Jigae. It’s a stew/soup (jigae) made with fish roe (al). When I first had it, I found it delicious, right from the get go. Although I don’t know what kind of roe Koreans use when they make al jigae, I noticed it looked a lot like yellow perch roe. So I asked my wife to make it with some yellows I got through the ice. That was decades ago and it continues to be one of my favorite winter dishes.
(https://i.postimg.cc/LhsWqg4j/6-FFB9-CE0-AFC3-488-E-AC36-01-FDBE4913-D8.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/LhsWqg4j)
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this was hilarious, thank you for sharing in such vivid detail!
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If there ever was a post to print and frame in the "ice shanty hall of fame" this one would surely be it. Always enjoy my annual read
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I wonder if he removed the eggs from the sac.
I remember trying bluegill eggs and it tasted just like eating fish with regular eggs, the two did not go together.
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Story still holds up and im still good having tried perch roe long ago and have to never worry about trying it again.
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Good story, thank you for sharing.
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Ahh ice out is here, time for the yearly reading of this story 😂
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Nice to see this is still being read eleven years later. I still get the shudders just thinking about that nasty stuff.
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I never believe anyone who says they actually enjoy this stuff.
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Nice to see this is still being read eleven years later. I still get the shudders just thinking about that nasty stuff.
Ahhh it’s the man himself 😆.
Seriously one of my favorite stories ever 😂.
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it's like licking a 9-volt battery, you know you shouldn't do it, but everyone does.
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I saw somewhere on Social Media where Ryan Callahan caught some perch in Idaho. They then proceeded to fry up the roe and he described it as custard-y. I guess you can fry a dog turd and describe it the same way if you really want to.
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have to be careful not to over cook them .serve them soft over easy.
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Maybe it's our clean canadian waters, but I fried em up once when the catching was lean. Thought they tasted not bad, the texture took some getting used to but I'd do it again in a pinch.
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For the record, I am full on Norwegian and do enjoy pickled herring.
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Ran7ger - what’s you take on Surströmming?
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fermented herring is great ! once.
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:thumbsup: :roflmao: :clap:
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I still remember reading this the first time way back in 2013 as well as the few times it has resurfaced. This story never gets old.