Author Topic: What should I do?! (Read 3238 times)

fishuhalik · « **on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:31 AM »

Here's a question for some of you guys that have been married for a while. I'm scheduling a big trip up north this year w/ a bunch of buds, and I invited my wife to go w/. It wasn't a sympothy invite by any means. She's just getting started in fishing since we hooked up a few years ago, and she is starting to love it. She even bought me a new house and flasher this year! Actually, I doubt I'll even get a chance to use 'em!

Anyways, we had the trip scheduled for Dec. 15th-18th, and now she can't go. She doesn't understand why I can't reschedule it. Normally I wouldn't have a problem rescheduling a trip, but the crappie lake we're going to is hands down the best right around first ice, and the next availability she's gonna have is in mid-January. I really do want her to go, but I don't see how it's gonna work. I don't want her to feel like she's being excluded and put a bad taste in her mouth or anything. Suggestions would be very much appriciated!

Icenutter · « **Reply #1 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:33 AM »

Take another trip in mid-January when she is able to go.

PIKEGUY · « **Reply #2 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:34 AM »

That seems easy enough. lol. Go with your buds and schedule another one when she can go to make her feel "special"

fishuhalik · « **Reply #3 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:36 AM »

If I reschedule for later, it's gonna be a wasted trip. The bite's only good for about 3-6 weeks after ice-up. Also, she said it's not just the fishing, but she wants to see what one of my trips w/ "the guys" is gonna be like.

Fat Boy · « **Reply #4 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:42 AM »

I agree with Icenutter. Go on the trip with your buddies. Then schedule an additional trip with her and if she wants to include your buddies then so be it. Also, in many places late ice is a good time for slabs too.

IceReaver · « **Reply #5 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:52 AM »

The advice so far seem to make the most amount of sense. Explain that the bite for crappie on the lake up north is best during early ice. Then, reschedule another trip with her to a different lake, maybe for a different species all together. This way you're getting the best of both worlds...an early excursion and a late excursion. Have the whole group plan the second one as well...that way she sees how a trip with "the guys" plays out.

musky-man · « **Reply #6 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 10:59 AM »

i agree with icereaver

Byron/PA · « **Reply #7 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 11:23 AM »

As someone who is lucky enough to have a significant other who loves to ice fish, I say the same thing that others have said. Two trips, bring the guys on the second trip if she REALLY wants you to........
And on the second trip, make sure to shedual some special time for her............

GEM_EYE_GUY · « **Reply #8 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 11:27 AM »

yes, go w/ the guys to the "first ice" lake in December.

Then I would suggest taking her in Jan to either URL or LOTW (or both). Both these lakes will always give a good idea of what a weekend with the guys is like. Even if no one else goes with you, you tend to meet the people around you if you spend more than a day there.
Plus it's been my experience that there's always fishin' buddies willing to go to those lakes.

C.C. · « **Reply #9 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 11:46 AM »

To put it bluntly "YOUR SCREWED" If she's like most women, they just don't get it. Good luck with your decision. I'd try the 2 trip's.
Jim

fishuhalik · « **Reply #10 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 11:49 AM »

Quote from: carpcatcher on Nov 23, 2005, 11:46 AM

To put it bluntly "YOUR SCREWED" If she's like most women, they just don't get it. Good luck with your decision. I'd try the 2 trip's.
Jim

Couldn't of said it better, carpcatcher.

Hey gemeyeguy, how's the bite on lotw mid-to-late jan? I've fished red a ton. I'm originally from Grand Rapids, and during the hey-deys of 2000-03 I use to get up there almost every weekend. I've only had the chance to get up to LOTW once, and if you know of any spots that might be good this time of year, I'd appreciate the input.

dwayne · « **Reply #11 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 12:03 PM »

2 trips...that is the best advise. As for her wanting to see what a trip is like with the guys...well, just have her watch animal house.

fishuhalik · « **Reply #12 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 12:11 PM »

Quote from: dwayne on Nov 23, 2005, 12:03 PM

2 trips...that is the best advise. As for her wanting to see what a trip is like with the guys...well, just have her watch animal house.

so true, so true

whitts-end · « **Reply #13 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 12:37 PM »

I'm all for taking the wife fishing - I wish mine would want to go more often!....
But if you can make it well known early in the relationship that there will be some cornerstones of life that are entirely set in stone (such as yearly fishing trips with the guys, hunting the rut, and Packer games on sundays), it will be easier to schedule such events in the future. Set the precident as early as possible for yearly excursions so as to avoid complications in the future. But of course, take her on the second trip... If the fishing is slow, maybe the "action" in the ice house will be a little hotter.

And the more she likes it/wants to go again, the more you will be able to get out there!

Whitt

cold_feet · « **Reply #14 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:03 PM »

Well all I can say is she had better get used to you going with the "buds" or else "Put her out by the mailbox"
Cold Feet

fishuhalik · « **Reply #15 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:14 PM »

She knows that there are those certain days that I do get (deer, duck, grouse, and fishing openers) but I told her if she wanted to she could be included in any of those. Actually, I just talked to her, and she told me to just go w/ the guys. I did tell her we should start planning our own trip together just so we can spend some "quality time" together, but I'm never gonna hear the end of this one.

Art 53 · « **Reply #16 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:26 PM »

You young guy's confuse me. Why would you bring the wife with the Buds or at all. Next thing you know she See's all the toys were that Vex thing come from.do you need 4 rods and what's that camera for And I thought your ATV was red. Let them stay home that's were you get your quality time. this should stir it up Art

fishuhalik · « **Reply #17 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:32 PM »

Quote from: Art 53 on Nov 23, 2005, 02:26 PM

You young guy's confuse me. Why would you bring the wife with the Buds or at all. Next thing you know she See's all the toys were that Vex thing come from.do you need 4 rods and what's that camera for And I thought your ATV was red. Let them stay home that's were you get your quality time. this should stir it up Art

The weird thing is, she's more excited than I am for ice fishing to start. Like I said, she spent about $700 on me this year to set up my ice fishing habit. How many guys out there can say that? Yes, I do count my lucky stars every night. And art53, the way I figure it she's my best friend any ways, so it's just like being w/ one of the buds.

fishuhalik · « **Reply #18 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:33 PM »

Art 53 · « **Reply #19 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:42 PM »

youth is wasted on the young

billditrite · « **Reply #20 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:48 PM »

quick story...me and five other buddies used to go whitewater rafting every year and camp out on the river's edge overnight. most of us were married but one was always single and usually alone. this trip was guys only for years. some of us married guys fought with our wives to keep it that way. well low and behold the loner gets a girlfriend. uhuh shes coming on the rafting trip. with a fair amount of warning that we are men and this is a mens trip the loner vows we wont even know shes there. we all agreed if she could stand us drunken swearing whitewater rafting manly men, then we could put up with her presence. well she never realized what filthy drunken pigs we were and no wonder our wives didnt want to come with us. it was the last rafting trip we went on as a group. time with your buddies and time with your significant other should be cherished but seperate. unless your buddies wives are going too. especially if it was something that was traditionally just the boys.

incidentally, last september i was the best man at their wedding and we are all very close friends.

hali-man · « **Reply #21 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:49 PM »

I can see both sides of this having been married, separated, divorced, single, and every thing in between.
First- does she have girlfriends that she hangs out with on occasion? That's important! My current "love/hate relationship" offers us both the freedom to spend time with others, and she never comes along when the guys are going to be there. I have to agree- that's just asking for trouble in many ways... She does enjoy coming along on the ice, usually later in the season on those really nice days. We have a good time!
My advice? Go with the guys and make sure she knows that she's welcome to spend time with her friends. (You wouldn't want to be there, anyway. Trust me!) Then maybe later in the season the two of you can make a few day trips or take a weekend together to spend that "quality time" on the ice.

fishuhalik · « **Reply #22 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:55 PM »

She definitely has her time w/ the gals and every once in a while I do tell her that a trip is just "da boys" but I told her she could go on this one. Anyways, I think we've got it settled. I'm going on the trip w/ the guys, then we're going up again in the spring for the last ice bite on a different lake. I'll keep ya'll posted on how both the trips go! If you're curious, keep your eyes on the MN formum.

Art 53 · « **Reply #23 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 02:58 PM »

Builditrighe and Hali-man you guys put my thoughts to words. I've been married for 30 years love my wife but keep it separate

Byron/PA · « **Reply #24 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 03:30 PM »

Something to be said for sharing the shack with someone you love. Something about the shack is a rocking, I think there was a song

jigmasterjr · « **Reply #25 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 03:34 PM »

just do what i did to avoid this stuff , i brought the fiancee fishing multiple times and she cant stand the fact i stay out untill the weeds grow over me in the summer or i freeze to the ice in the winter couple trips and now she just says have a good time when im going fishing

bear · « **Reply #26 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 07:04 PM »

I am glad that you are going. Things always work out. bear

pike4some · « **Reply #27 on:** Nov 23, 2005, 07:10 PM »

Mac very nice story i enjoyed it.

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Author Topic: What should I do?! (Read 3238 times)

PIKEGUY

GEM_EYE_GUY

dwayne

hali-man