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Author Topic: Perch roe, a cautionary tale  (Read 29425 times)

Offline tbern

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #90 on: Dec 13, 2018, 04:52 PM »
Cornbread's  writing reminds me of Patrick McManus! Enjoyed the story!

Offline LittleFishin

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #91 on: Mar 10, 2020, 08:08 PM »
Still hilarious!!!
Tonight I was cleaning some perch my GF and I caught earlier in the day and as I was cleaning them I noticed that the way I clean perch means their roe sacks come out fully intact.

“Those kind of look tasty” I said to myself thinking back to salmon roe I have eaten in the past. “I wonder if they are edible?” So I sat down and Googled perch roe recipes and sure enough people said they are good but are “an acquired taste”. I am OK with fishy taste, and I have a really, really, really strong stomach. I can keep pretty much anything down, including bear steak where the bear has been eating fish, which most people can’t even touch without gagging.

So I figured I was a pretty good candidate for acquiring the taste for my new found delicacy. So from what I read they are best deep fried fresh until fully cooked all the way through. So I figured “why not? I’ll toss a few in a pot of hot oil and let them fry while I clean the others and then try them”.

I figured I would try four since they are small, and really what kind of man can’t bolt down four such tiny morsels even if they end up not tasting good, right?

I let them fry for a good long time until they were a deep golden brown. I took the first one out and sliced it in half. The consistency inside looked a bit like cooked pork sausage where the pork is finely ground. I blew on it a little, sniffed it and then popped it in my mouth.

Here were my initial thoughts:

Oh my!.....Oh yes!........I do believe……..yes, I’m positive…….this tastes exactly like the battalion bathrooms smelled after our entire platoon hit them after 60 days in the field during the Gulf War……only fishier.

Well I hate waste so I now was faced with 3.5 more of what can only be described as the culinary equivalent of a swift kick to nuts. Something so foul, it is actually painful to eat.

“I know” I thought “I’ll cover it in good Dijon mustard, that will hide the taste”. I quickly discovered two things. “A”, no it won’t, and “B”, it didn’t. It simply tasted like freeze dried exhaust fumes with Dijon mustard on them. Mmmmmmm Yummy!

Only three more to go.

The next one I tried putting a bunch of salt and pepper on because they kind of look like Chinese wontons so maybe I could fool my taste buds in to thinking they were salt and pepper wontons. Apparently my taste buds don’t care what a deep fried fish turd looks like; they still taste it as a salt and peppery fried fish turd.

Two more to go.

Well maybe if I roll this one in spicy Chinese mustard it will over power my taste buds and I won’t taste the liquid fish butt of the roe? This unexpectedly sort of worked, but I had to use so much hot mustard I was banging the table and crying “sweet love of petunias that stings” as my nose hairs fell out on the table. After the initial blast of mustard crying hotness….yep there it was……the unmistakable taste of that weapon of mass destruction known as perch roe.

One to go.

“How can anything so small, taste so awful?” I thought to myself as I stared down the final piece of fish death waiting quietly on my plate. “I mean those people on the internet who said it was tasty must have liked it……….oh wait”. And then it hit me, those people were probably old Norwegians.

You see I am Norwegian and I come from a background where at Christmas every year when I was little my older relatives would encourage me to “have just a little piece of Lutefisk” because they were sure “I would like it”. Every year, it was the exact same, it still tasted like somebody threw up in my mouth for me, then had me eat it, after they had, had fish earlier that day. I came to realize that my older relatives had gone through something I refer to affectionately as “Tastebudelpause” this is where you become so old that your taste buds no longer work at all. They have simply given up and died ahead of time and are just waiting for the rest of you to follow suit. This is the only possible explanation for how they can eat and enjoy Lutefisk. It must have been these same elderly Norwegians who had posted those perch roe recipes on the internet. Either that or it was somebody playing a really cruel joke on the rest of the internet world.

It is still there, looking at me, defying me to eat it. My stomach is sweating internally in silent encouragement for me to simply toss it in the garbage. No, I will not sink so low, I cooked it, I will eat it!

You know in the fishing regulations where it says “only inedible portions of game fish may be used for bait” or something along those lines? People are always saying “which parts are the inedible portions?”. I’m here to tell you folks, it is the roe of perch they are talking about, only it is so horrible tasting they cannot bring themselves to print those words or people will know they actually tried it once.

It is still there.

“OK Marine!” I say to myself “Time for you to just woof it down boot camp style and get this behind you”. So I do “Oh sweet spawn of all things dark and hideous” I think as the awful, thick taste of liquid fish butt once again passes over my taste buds and in to my stomach, which at this point thinks it has done something terribly wrong and is being punished for it. I try and assure it that no, it has done nothing wrong, because to deserve this level of punishment it would have had to have committed war crimes or something equally awful, no, this is simply a culinary trial gone terribly, terribly wrong.
 
Then mercifully it is all over, the final one has been consumed. I feel a sense of accomplishment; I too have eaten perch roe!!!! I feel like I should call someone and tell them I have done such an amazing thing, but no, I have a better idea……

………I am off to post a five star review on some of those perch roe recipes so others can enjoy them too ;)
Load it, Drive it, Park it
Bait it, Jig it, Hook it
Catch it, Clean it, Cook it
Simply put just get out/ and do it

Offline RuralMT

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #92 on: Mar 10, 2020, 08:45 PM »
I completely agree...still a golden-classic!  However, given that it's been 5 years since his experience, has anyone found a suitable use, culinary or otherwise, for the excessive amount of perch eggs?!?  Bait perhaps?  I tried frying them up, but while the the outside gets crusty, the innards stay gooey...personally, I'm also crossing the culinary aspect off the list!

Offline missoulafish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #93 on: Mar 11, 2020, 08:35 AM »
Compost

Offline BoomerFTW

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #94 on: Mar 11, 2020, 10:08 AM »
This post is beyond incredible haha, Thank you for venturing where most of us dare not go...

Offline WALL E GATOR

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #95 on: Mar 11, 2020, 02:25 PM »
Never been tempted to eat them, but was wondering about curing them like ya do steelhead and salmon roe. Anybody ever try curing them?

That was a well told tale of Daring and Bravery. Sorry but I ain't gonna try em. Nope Not Gonna Do It.
FISH ON! and Tight Lines

Offline Papa John

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #96 on: Mar 11, 2020, 02:53 PM »
I'd rank them right up there with sauteed goat eyeballs. And yes, I have eaten them....... eggs, not the eyeballs. LOL

Offline Seamonkey84

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #97 on: Mar 11, 2020, 03:02 PM »
Glad this got brought back up, always had a laugh reading this.

Offline slickice

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #98 on: Mar 12, 2020, 09:43 AM »
Eating undercooked perch roe can give you "aroma virus".  Be certain they're really well done and wash your hands before eating.

Offline Canoejon

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #99 on: Feb 08, 2022, 05:36 PM »
My wife is Korean so I’ve had the opportunity to get to know and love Korean cuisine. If any of you ever have the opportunity to eat in a good Korean restauran, you might see a dish called Al Jigae. It’s a stew/soup (jigae) made with fish roe (al). When I first had it, I found it delicious, right from the get go. Although I don’t know what kind of roe Koreans use when they make al jigae, I noticed it looked a lot like yellow perch roe. So I asked my wife to make it with some yellows I got through the ice. That was decades ago and it continues to be one of my favorite winter dishes.


Offline SummitUp

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #100 on: Feb 09, 2022, 10:00 AM »
this was hilarious, thank you for sharing in such vivid detail!

Offline MattyIce65

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #101 on: Feb 09, 2022, 10:12 AM »
If there ever was a post to print and frame in the "ice shanty hall of fame" this one would surely be it. Always enjoy my annual read

Offline popnfish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #102 on: Feb 09, 2022, 10:36 AM »
I wonder if he removed the eggs from the sac.
I remember trying bluegill eggs and it tasted just like eating fish with regular eggs, the two did not go together.

Offline missoulafish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #103 on: Feb 09, 2022, 11:00 AM »
Story still holds up and im still good having tried perch roe long ago and have to never worry about trying it again.

Offline Uppervalley Kid

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #104 on: Feb 09, 2022, 11:07 AM »
Good story, thank you for sharing.
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Offline Seamonkey84

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #105 on: Mar 05, 2024, 08:46 AM »
Ahh ice out is here, time for the yearly reading of this story 😂

Offline Cornbread

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #106 on: Mar 05, 2024, 09:02 AM »
Nice to see this is still being read eleven years later. I still get the shudders just thinking about that nasty stuff.

Offline missoulafish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #107 on: Mar 05, 2024, 09:07 AM »
I never believe anyone who says they actually enjoy this stuff.

Offline Seamonkey84

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #108 on: Mar 05, 2024, 09:13 AM »
Nice to see this is still being read eleven years later. I still get the shudders just thinking about that nasty stuff.

Ahhh it’s the man himself 😆.
Seriously one of my favorite stories ever 😂.

Offline albo

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #109 on: Mar 05, 2024, 02:48 PM »
it's like licking a 9-volt battery, you know you shouldn't do it, but everyone does.
if you're too busy to go fishing, you're too busy

Offline missoulafish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #110 on: Mar 05, 2024, 04:27 PM »
I saw somewhere on Social Media where Ryan Callahan caught some perch in Idaho. They then proceeded to fry up the roe and he described it as custard-y.  I guess you can fry a dog turd and describe it the same way if you really want to.

Offline mt-mike

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #111 on: Mar 05, 2024, 04:34 PM »
have to be careful not to over cook them .serve them soft over easy.

Offline ran7ger

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #112 on: Mar 05, 2024, 08:32 PM »
 Maybe it's our clean canadian waters, but I fried em up once when the catching was lean.  Thought they tasted not bad, the texture took some getting used to but I'd do it again in a pinch.

Offline ran7ger

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #113 on: Mar 05, 2024, 08:34 PM »
For the record, I am full on Norwegian and do enjoy pickled herring.

Offline missoulafish

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #114 on: Mar 06, 2024, 06:23 AM »
Ran7ger - what’s you take on Surströmming?

Offline mt-mike

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #115 on: Mar 06, 2024, 07:14 AM »
fermented herring is great ! once.

Offline CaptHoss

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #116 on: Mar 06, 2024, 09:13 AM »
 :thumbsup: :roflmao: :clap:
The ice is always safe. The question is, are you?

Offline wyogator

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Re: Perch roe, a cautionary tale
« Reply #117 on: Mar 06, 2024, 07:12 PM »
I still remember reading this the first time way back in 2013 as well as the few times it has resurfaced.  This story never gets old.

 



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