What's your question???

[esox_xtm]

Are doughnuts standard or metric?

This is Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

Depends on if they are made in the US or anywhere else in the world. But we expect you knew (or at least supposed) that. If all the ingredients are weighed or measured in pounds/ounces or cups/ tea or tablespoons and baked in a Fahrenheit calibrated oven and the finished product is measured in ounces and inches they turn out standard. If ingredients are weighed/measured grams/ccs and baked in a Celsius calibrated oven and that finished product is measured in grams and mm they turn out metric. Common sense.

The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!

I was warned in 5th grade science class (circa 1963) that by the time I was in high school that "English/Standard/whatever" measurements would be gone and EVERYTHING would be metric. Thppppppp! Mr. Gunderson you big fat liar!

IFH rant over.

Next question.

[esox_xtm]

Would you rather have legs as long as your fingers or fingers as long as your legs?

Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

This is an apples to oranges comparison. Properly phrased it would have asked, "Would you rather have legs as long as your arms or fingers as long as your toes?" Still kind of a confusing question.

For the first part, I have unusually long arms for my height. They may well be as long as my legs. I'm just glad my knuckles don't drag on the ground. To your original question: Really? I already waddle a bit when I walk and short legs would just make it worse. Pass.

To the second part, fingers as long as my toes... Ahhhh, nope. I already have trouble enough tying a proper knot and stubby fingers wouldn't help that one bit. As far as your original question: That's an intriguing thought. Fingers three feet long. Think of the possibilities.  Of course gloves would be tough to find. We'll think about it but probably not that either.

Next (ridiculous) question.

[esox_xtm]

Oh Wise One, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

OK Muggsy. Your flattery gets you nowhere, you're fired. You have obviously NOT read this entire thread.    If you had you would know it has already been asked multiple times. Nope, I'm not posting a link to the question/replies. Sorry (sorta). Read and enjoy... 

Thanks for calling Ice fishing Hotline. Next caller Billy!!!

[SirCranksalot]

Still have not answered my question about Juliard---tick tock, tick tock!!

[esox_xtm]

Still have not answered my question about Juliard---tick tock, tick tock!!

Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

That's just really odd Sir, I KNOW I typed a response to this. I know because I proofread at least a couple of times before I post and can remember the gist of the reply. Sometimes, if someone else posts a reply while I'm typing and just hit post without realizing that I need to review my post and hit "Post" again my post doesn't. Of course, I'll never remember my exact reply so allow us to offer a facsimile answer to your question.

My physics class was high school level and both aerodynamics and fluid dynamics were chapters in that course. Examples of my first reply to you (about why your natural gas follows you around) were based on lessons there. Also presented in that answer were a couple of good examples supporting the argument.

1.) From HS chem class - never smell anything directly. Use your hand to gently waft any odors/aromas from a test tube or beaker and sample judiciously lest the substance be corrosive or toxic. The principle of the movement of your hand moving air from over the container parallels your situation.

2.) In a technique called "drafting", a vehicle closely following another vehicle can be literally pulled along (not completely of course) behind the leading vehicles slipstream. The same negative air space phenomenon applies. For more information see NASCAR drafting. Also used by commercial trucks on public highways.

3.) My music career started at age 10 in the school marching band. I played the trombone. No, not by choice and don't ask. It's still a sore spot which I have yet to forgive both my parents and my brother  . At age 14 I took up bass guitar and was self-taught (FWIW). That lasted until i was 22 and realized I would never be a rock star. At least in music with any kind of guitar. I still whistle a lot and sing some but nobody wants to listen to that either. So no, there's no Julliard in my history for science or music.

BTW "Juliard" is spelled with two Ls... 

Better?

[Eyes R Bitin]

Maybe everyone already knows and I’ve missed it somehow but how did an ice rod looking like a green headed duck with a red body get to be named the “Green Hornet”?

[esox_xtm]

Maybe everyone already knows and I’ve missed it somehow but how did an ice rod looking like a green headed duck with a red body get to be named the “Green Hornet”?

Floats like a duck (unless there's a 6# walleye on the other end and you ain't payin' attention), stings like a bee (hornet works). Catches fish like the masked crime fighter catches criminals!

"The Green Hornets' caught more fish than you've lied about Gustafson!"

Next question.

[Chris338378]

Why is the pepperoni on frozen pizza a lot spicier than any pepperoni you buy in the store?

[esox_xtm]

Why is the pepperoni on frozen pizza a lot spicier than any pepperoni you buy in the store?

A.) IFH is so broken ain't much that's too hot. In most cases we can't distinguish between levels of hot intended for normal people. So...

B.) Give me the name of the frozen pizzas you're buying 

C.) Be willing to pony up for better pepperoni at the store.

D,) Just add some habbie flakes to your pizza and you'll never notice 

Next question.

[SirCranksalot]

"The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!"

Now that is a dammed serious question!! Those units are IMPERIAL units not "US customary" units as they are sometimes erroneously referred to. One would thing that the US would be eager to get rid of a system developed by their former masters, the Brits!! Temp is the most glaring example---water freezes at 0 and boils at 100!! what could be more simple. It amazes, and disappoints, me when I hear Canadians(yet), esp the younger ones, referring to temps in Fariengobblegook. In Canada we are unofficially only partly converted.  You Americans have a bad influence on us!! Here's my question---when are you folks going to smarten up and get with the program???

[esox_xtm]

"The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!"

Now that is a dammed serious question!! Here's my question---when are you folks going to smarten up and get with the program???

THAT is the one question that IFH cannot presume to answer as that answer is out of our control and meets no standard of common sense. PLEEEEEASE, powers that be! Cannot America be standardized with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world for Pete's sake???

Auggggggggh!

Sir, if were up to me we'd have been there before we saw the 70's. Just sayin'...

Next question.

[Light liner]

Whats the deal with rhode island?
Its not a road or an island?

[DR.SPECKLER]

Im in.hahaha like that esox?lol

[esox_xtm]

Whats the deal with rhode island?
Its not a road or an island?

A day late and probably a dollar short as well. Already addressed in this thread:

Rhode Islanders are very forward thinkers. As global warming progresses it will become an island and they just wanted to be prepared.

Next question.

[esox_xtm]

Im in.hahaha like that esox?lol

Better in than out. Better up than down. More better in AND out AND up AND down. But that's as far as I'm going on a family site. 

Yes, the Doctor is IN! And, per your comment on the now locked thread: It is I that is ridiculous! 

[maddogg]

Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?

[matt12]

Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?

X2

[esox_xtm]

Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?

No. Obviously. It's not the Atacama Desert...

FWIW I'm a little tired of it too. Been at this house 20 years but the last couple everything is getting green with moss. 

Next question.

[SirCranksalot]

Why does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain?? Maybe provide a scientific answer rather than your usual BS! ::)l

[esox_xtm]

Why does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain?? Maybe provide a scientific answer rather than your usual BS! ::)l

Fine. Have it your way  .

Consider that fully 80% of the land area in Spain is only 2,400 feet or less above sea level. What are the odds that rain will fall mostly on the plains rather than on what passes for mountains? Do the math.

Beyond that as moist air masses move onto land masses they tend to condense up against cooler mountainous regions dumping much of their moisture before they get to higher elevations. Any that is left most often falls as snow so not rain. Got it?

Of course now you must pass, fail or correct me. Bring it! 

Next question.

[maddogg]

Why do I have Cheetos dust on my fingers when I get up in the morning ( there are no Cheetos in the house-ever)?
My ice rods are covered with the orange stuff. HELP

[esox_xtm]

Why do I have Cheetos dust on my fingers when I get up in the morning ( there are no Cheetos in the house-ever)?
My ice rods are covered with the orange stuff. HELP

Apparently you have entered a parallel universe in your dream state. In that universe the only thing to eat is Cheetos explaining why your fingers display the tell-tale orange dust when you rejoin your real world on awakening. Licking the dust off your fingers before you handle your ice rods should eliminate or, at least, minimize the mess.

We are pleased to hear that it is only your fingers and ice rods that have been affected by the orange dust. Could be worse... 

Next question.

[Agronomist_at_IA]

Will vexilar Fire the idiot that dropped the dual and or tribeam transducer.......I hope they do.

[tater140]

Do fish ever get thirsty?

[esox_xtm]

Will vexilar Fire the idiot that dropped the dual and or tribeam transducer.......I hope they do.

Even though there was no question mark in your sentence it was still phrased as a question.

The answer is not necessarily. Perhaps he was onto something that would have rendered your multi-beam transducers obsolete anyway. Maybe he'll be the hero.

Or he'll be the one that says, "You know what guys? Been lotsa unexpected negative feedback on droppin' the multi-beams. Maybe we should bring 'em back."

Or they're all idiots and couldn't catch a goldfish in a bowl much less make good corporate decisions. Get a Marcum... 
DISCLAIMER: Ridiculous answers are for entertainment value only. No actual disrespect for the Vexilar company or their customers is intended.

Next question.

[esox_xtm]

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Really? That's like asking if I lived at the Don Julio distillery would I ever run out of tequila. Let me rephrase that so it's clear:

No.

Next question.

[buuddy]

Really? That's like asking if I lived at the Don Julio distillery would I ever run out of tequila. Let me rephrase that so it's clear:

No.

Next question.

I know this thread is meant to be humorous but the answer depends on the type of fish in question, and it deals with the osmosis process. Freshwater fish don't need to drink, but saltwater fish need to drink constantly.
http://yourontarioresearch.ca/curiosity-shop-answers/do-fish-ever-get-thirsty/

[esox_xtm]

I know this thread is meant to be humorous but the answer depends on the type of fish in question, and it deals with the osmosis process. Freshwater fish don't need to drink, but saltwater fish need to drink constantly.
http://yourontarioresearch.ca/curiosity-shop-answers/do-fish-ever-get-thirsty/

Thanks for sharing the educational link buuudy. That's what I get for not consulting the Al Gore International Library for all of my answers. Since I learned something new, this day has now become officially "not wasted". The original question however was not whether fish drank or not, it asked do they ever get thirsty. To quote from your link:

"Drinking in fish is considered to be a reflex and is thought to occur without any thirst arousal. Thus, although fish drink, that doesn't necessarily mean that they get thirsty! Current thinking suggests that they don't."

I'd say despite my silliness I wasn't too far off...

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline.

Next caller Billy!

[Chris338378]

When it comes to boat capacities why do they use 150 pounds for a person's weight? 

[esox_xtm]

When it comes to boat capacities why do they use 150 pounds for a person's weight?

For the same reason they say @ 5'10" I'm supposed to weight 160#. Geez... I got down to 165 once and everyone started pushin' me around. I couldn't even get any respect from toddlers! Always did best about 180 - 190. Built like the proverbial brick $h1+house. "Course now I'm pushin' 250# and that ain't happy either.

As far as your boat goes, eyeball the passengers, do the math and proceed accordingly. FWIW I'm probably gonna be over cap this coming weekend in my boat.Got 4 guys and I'll be the second lightest  . So going nowhere fast, mind the traffic, make sure PFDs are easily available for all and, at all costs, enjoy myself! My boat is maxed out for hp but with a full load like that it would be dangerous to go racing around. I'm just gonna pretend it's a pontoon... 

Short answer: Go on a diet and stop worrying. 

Next question.