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IceShanty Main => General Ice Fishing Chit Chat => Topic started by: esox_xtm on Nov 10, 2017, 09:11 PM

Title: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 10, 2017, 09:11 PM
OK, I'll confess. I'm an instigator and a goofball. Don't know how it started but it had to be when I was on here mousing around. One of the kids called and I answered in my growliest, curmudgeonly voice:

"Ice fishing hotline. What's your question?".....

Silence.

"Dad?"

"Ice fishing hotline, what's your question?"

I've had so much fun with this over the years. Even in July, "Ice fishing hot line, what's your question?" Great stuff!

When I'm in the right mood and some telemarketer calls..... Muwahahahahahah!

So icefisherfolks, try it out and see what happens. Got a female friend that calls and she gets the "Ice fishing hot line, what's your question". She whines, "I don't have a question will you let me slide?" "I've let you slide for over a year lady! I pay the toll for this hotline, ask a question or hang up!"

Too much fun!

Ok, everyone. have some fun!  >:D :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Nov 10, 2017, 09:12 PM
Can i buy lures in July?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: appleye on Nov 11, 2017, 12:01 AM
Is this a trick question?  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: oldred on Nov 11, 2017, 05:12 AM
Can you catch flying fish on tip ups?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Old Goat on Nov 11, 2017, 05:56 AM
is it ok to put 4lb. line on a reel that should have 6,8 or 10lb. line on it?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Unclegillhunter on Nov 11, 2017, 06:05 AM
trying to buy a spinning reel for ice fishing but the site does not say if the reel is right hand or left hand retrieve.  :P
Keep it safe! JDL
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tbern on Nov 11, 2017, 06:10 AM
What bait do you recommend for catching ICE??  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: masoneddie on Nov 11, 2017, 06:42 AM
My feet sweat a lot and I understand using anti-perspirant will keep them warmer, my biggest concern is staining my new Morino wool socks. Will Right Guard work, or do you suggest using something a little less aggressive like Secret?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:27 AM
Can i buy lures in July?

Yes. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:27 AM
Is this a trick question?  ;D

No. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:28 AM
is it ok to put 4lb. line on a reel that should have 6,8 or 10lb. line on it?

Sure but it'll take more to fill the spool. Next question.... ;)2
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:29 AM
Can you catch flying fish on tip ups?

Only if you set them on a ladder. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:30 AM
trying to buy a spinning reel for ice fishing but the site does not say if the reel is right hand or left hand retrieve.  :P
Keep it safe! JDL

Good luck with that. Next question.... :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:34 AM
This is unexpected fun! Thanks everyone  :thumbsup:

Then if I get call waiting and I return the call it's: "Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline, your call is important to us. Thanks for holding. What's your question?"

I even had my wifes' friends trying to think up some ice fishing questions because they felt obligated. Of course that's where the short answer and "Next question" came from.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chris338378 on Nov 11, 2017, 09:26 AM
Do you use left or right handed swivels?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Nov 11, 2017, 09:49 AM
How do fish sleep without eyelids?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 10:38 AM
Do you use left or right handed swivels?

Metric. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 10:38 AM
How do fish sleep without eyelids?

Just like my room mate in school. With their eyes open. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: eriksat1 on Nov 11, 2017, 10:43 AM
What is most comfortable folding chair that won’t give you a sore a$$?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 11:33 AM
What is most comfortable folding chair that won’t give you a sore a$$?

Lazy Boy. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Flint on Nov 11, 2017, 12:37 PM
Will there be enough lake ice to fish on in Ne Kansas this season?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: jtc on Nov 11, 2017, 12:48 PM
Even though I don’t have a question at this time I think I am really going to enjoy this thread!!!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: rgfixit on Nov 11, 2017, 01:35 PM
Have you been taking that B-Complex again?

Rg
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 01:39 PM
What bait do you recommend for catching ICE??  ;D

My martini glass. Next question.  @)
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 01:40 PM
Will there be enough lake ice to fish on in Ne Kansas this season?

Possibly. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 01:42 PM
Even though I don’t have a question at this time I think I am really going to enjoy this thread!!!

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline! <aside> "Hey Billy, next caller!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 01:43 PM
Have you been taking that B-Complex again?

Rg

Only in combination with other vitamins. Next question.  :laugh:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Bigassbassman on Nov 11, 2017, 03:05 PM
Marcum, Vex, or Bird?   ;D

JK-- Marcum, all the way.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 04:09 PM
Marcum, Vex, or Bird?   ;D

JK-- Marcum, all the way.

You get the Bird bassman. JK Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: waterfowl_warrior09 on Nov 11, 2017, 04:18 PM
Proper technique for perch milking?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: waterfowl_warrior09 on Nov 11, 2017, 04:20 PM
Proper technique for perch milking?
I hear it makes cleaning them easier........lol
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 04:41 PM
Proper technique for perch milking?

Head against their side to keep 'em calm. Then alternate pulling. Be gentle... Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Idahogator on Nov 11, 2017, 04:44 PM
Those few times, in my haste somehow forget the kitchen sink, could you recommend a back-up?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Sandcountrylivin on Nov 11, 2017, 05:41 PM
Are the fish biting? Just seeing if it pays to go out or not.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 06:20 PM
Those few times, in my haste somehow forget the kitchen sink, could you recommend a back-up?

Bathroom sink. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 06:22 PM
Are the fish biting? Just seeing if it pays to go out or not.

Of course they are. (Forgot to ask where Sparky....  ;) ) Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 06:38 PM
Thought I'd better do this before it's too late...

*** DISCLAIMER ***

Ice Fishing Hotline is for entertainment purposes only. Any representation of real information or advice is not intended, implied or otherwise warranted in any way. Wise cracks and possible insults are intended recreationally and have no real intention other than entertainment value. Roll with it.

Any injury, disfigurement, disappointment, or any other damage including death is unintended and the sole responsibility of the user.

WARNING!
NOT REAL INFORMATION. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!

Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Nov 11, 2017, 07:47 PM
How do you keep fish from smelling???
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 07:58 PM
How do you keep fish from smelling???

Pinch their noses. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Nov 11, 2017, 08:00 PM
Dammitt! thought I was gonna stump the hot line!!!
 ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: WYIfish on Nov 11, 2017, 08:14 PM
Not a directly related fishing question but it does relate to water pollution.  What does one do to dispose of old worn out wool socks? Tell me obe won konobie
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 08:21 PM
Soak 'em in deer pee and use 'em for drag rags during deer season. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Sandcountrylivin on Nov 11, 2017, 08:26 PM
Hello hi...(haha)..Is your refrigerator running?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 11, 2017, 11:18 PM
Hello hi...(haha)..Is your refrigerator running?

No. It's just standing in the kitchen. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: sodakdave on Nov 12, 2017, 01:02 AM
I dropped my spud through the ice. How do I get it back?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Idahogator on Nov 12, 2017, 01:23 AM
No. It's just standing in the kitchen. Next question.

Will you define the brown odious substance oozing beneath the door?    :sick:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:46 AM
I dropped my spud through the ice. How do I get it back?

Magnet on a long rope. Good luck! Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:48 AM
Will you define the brown odious substance oozing beneath the door?    :sick:

Allowing as I had a fridge go belly up last week, in that case it was mixed vegetables. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: mjk67 on Nov 12, 2017, 08:40 AM
Is Mike McCarthy the most gutless play caller in the NFL?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: wallydiven on Nov 12, 2017, 09:04 AM
I stubbed my toe on a chunk of ice that was frozen next to my hole. What should I do??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Jason1817 on Nov 12, 2017, 09:09 AM
You stubbed your toe on ice, you should defiantly should call the toe truck!!!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 09:19 AM
Is Mike McCarthy the most gutless play caller in the NFL?

Not just yet. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 09:20 AM
I stubbed my toe on a chunk of ice that was frozen next to my hole. What should I do??

Next time wear boots. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: oldred on Nov 12, 2017, 09:55 AM
I'll be visiting my son in Ft. Lauderdale in February. I have searched the Florida Fish & Game website and cannot find how many tip ups they allow. Do not want to bring anymore on the plane than is necessary.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chute82 on Nov 12, 2017, 12:04 PM
After a night of drinking, I woke to find a Swedish pimple on my tickle stick.  Not sure how it got there, what should I do?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: sturboy on Nov 12, 2017, 12:23 PM
I don't catch many fish through the ice. Does this affect when I should take Social Security?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 12:27 PM
I'll be visiting my son in Ft. Lauderdale in February. I have searched the Florida Fish & Game website and cannot find how many tip ups they allow. Do not want to bring anymore on the plane than is necessary.

So what's the question? Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 12:30 PM
After a night of drinking, I woke to find a Swedish pimple on my tickle stick.  Not sure how it got there, what should I do?

Go immediately to LBDN and drop that Swedish Pimple in 17 FOW, have two more drinks of what ever you had last night and call me in the morning. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 12:32 PM
I don't catch many fish through the ice. Does this affect when I should take Social Security?

Yes. If you can't catch fish through the ice there's not much hope for you. Better retire now before it's too late. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IceholeFisherman on Nov 12, 2017, 12:58 PM
Should bacon bits be included when you purchase a spud bar?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 02:52 PM
Bacon makes everything better. I say sure and while you're at it make it Nueske's. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 12, 2017, 04:59 PM
How long should it take to read all 4 pages ?  And do I get to subtract the time lost laughing ?  Ok...Ok I know that's two questions  :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:09 PM
How long should it take to read all 4 pages ?  And do I get to subtract the time lost laughing ?  Ok...Ok I know that's two questions  :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline Bud and thank you for your questions. First, that will directly depend on how well you read. Next, time spent laughing is added on to your life, not subtracted. At that rate I'll live forever! Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:12 PM
My feet sweat a lot and I understand using anti-perspirant will keep them warmer, my biggest concern is staining my new Morino wool socks. Will Right Guard work, or do you suggest using something a little less aggressive like Secret?

Ah. Missed this one. Good question eddie. I've use unscented Sure aerosol (for years). Never had a staining issue but I use polypro sock liners. BTW, that's no secret.... ;)2 Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: WYIfish on Nov 12, 2017, 05:34 PM
Does pickled bologna, cheese, and crackers make the best dinner on the ice?  It all goes good with beer.  Why do I ask?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: JIGMAN21 on Nov 12, 2017, 05:48 PM
WHY DOES NO ONE MAKE A ONE MAN FLIP OVER WITH ENOUGH HEAD ROOM FOR A LARGE 6'2' MAN TO FISH COMFORTABLY WITHOUT JAMMING HIS HEAD INTO THE ROOF ?  YOU CAN BUY XXX ICE SUITS--WHY NOT A XXX FLIPOVER ?  I REALIZE I'VE ASKED 2 QUESTIONS AND FOR THIS I APPOLOGIZE.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Agronomist_at_IA on Nov 12, 2017, 05:53 PM
Why isn't anyone coming out with really cool new gear or stuff a guy wants?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:55 PM
Does pickled bologna, cheese, and crackers make the best dinner on the ice?  It all goes good with beer.  Why do I ask?

No, for me it's bratwurst, homemade baked beans and some kind of chips. Beer is good. Why do you ask? I have no idea. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:57 PM
WHY DOES NO ONE MAKE A ONE MAN FLIP OVER WITH ENOUGH HEAD ROOM FOR A LARGE 6'2' MAN TO FISH COMFORTABLY WITHOUT JAMMING HIS HEAD INTO THE ROOF ?  YOU CAN BUY XXX ICE SUITS--WHY NOT A XXX FLIPOVER ?  I REALIZE I'VE ASKED 2 QUESTIONS AND FOR THIS I APPOLOGIZE.

Because you're not supposed to stand up and jig. Sit on your bucket, shut up and fish. Really the same question so..... Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 05:59 PM
Why isn't anyone coming out with really cool new gear or stuff a guy wants?

It's probably out there if you really look. You want "not made in China?". Keep looking. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 06:01 PM
All of the good stuff has already been invented.

Disagree. There's still better mousetraps. You want a job? We pay minimum wage, no tips and no benefits. Next non-question...  >:D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 06:10 PM
***Intermission***

Just quick note to everyone ducking in and participating (or not). You guys are hilarious! Bud asked if time spent laughing was subtracted from your life. Geez, I hope not because just re-reading this makes me laugh (even more than when I wrote it). This was completely unintended but as long as you can shoot I'll shoot back!

Thanks everyone! Viva Ice Shanty!  :thumbsup: :bow: :thumbsup:

Next question!  @)

We now return you to your regular programming...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Sandcountrylivin on Nov 12, 2017, 06:22 PM
10 shiners in a tank

2 drown

3 swim away

4 die

How many are left??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 06:54 PM
None. There's a pike on the left. They're all on the right. Next question.

"You can notta foola me! Everyone knows there ain'ta no sanity clause...."
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: wallydiven on Nov 12, 2017, 07:02 PM
Why would a blonde walk into a bar?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 07:18 PM
Why would a blonde walk into a bar?

Because she forgot to duck. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kasilofchrisn on Nov 12, 2017, 07:43 PM
Fishing on the ice was great today.
Should I pack extra bait and an extra moose burger for you to join me tomorrow here in AK?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: spoofhoundicefisher on Nov 12, 2017, 07:57 PM
my wife says if i go ice fishing one more time she is gonna leave me.  my question is should i take brats or polish sausage next time on the ice? 
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 07:58 PM
Fishing on the ice was great today.
Should I pack extra bait and an extra moose burger for you to join me tomorrow here in AK?

I'd like to say yes but all the flights into Anchorage are booked for tomorrow, so the answer will have to be no.

Thanks for the offer. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 08:00 PM
my wife says if i go ice fishing one more time she is gonna leave me.  my question is should i take brats or polish sausage next time on the ice?

Considering the circumstances I don't believe it matters. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Baetis62 on Nov 12, 2017, 08:12 PM
Is headcheese made from head or cheese?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: muskyon46 on Nov 12, 2017, 08:16 PM
Why do so many reply "IN" on a post that just tells you about the giveaways for the season? Not an actual giveaway.


Great post by the way, I've lengthened my life drastically tonight
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 08:59 PM
Is headcheese made from head or cheese?

Head is the first part for a reason. Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 09:01 PM
Why do so many reply "IN" on a post that just tells you about the giveaways for the season? Not an actual giveaway.


Great post by the way, I've lengthened my life drastically tonight

For the same reason they come here and ask inane questions.  ;)2 Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Nov 12, 2017, 09:11 PM
What should I do if I'm about to be spooled by a fish.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 09:16 PM
What should I do if I'm about to be spooled by a fish.

Grab a second rig, hook it to the first one and let it go down the hole. Good luck with the beast. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 12, 2017, 09:24 PM
 :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :clap: :clap:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: JonPerry on Nov 12, 2017, 09:26 PM
If it was last year, will it be this year?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 12, 2017, 09:28 PM
If it was last year, will it be this year?

Last year is history. This year is a whole new ball game. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Mr spearer on Nov 12, 2017, 09:55 PM
What do you do when you step in a ice hole and you cant get your boot back out?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Idahogator on Nov 12, 2017, 10:11 PM
What do you do when you step in a ice hole and you cant get your boot back out?
Light the fuse, drop it down the hole and run ! 

Wait.  This is not my office.   I'm outta here.>>>>>
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 13, 2017, 05:14 AM
What do you do when you step in a ice hole and you cant get your boot back out?

Buy bigger boots. Or use a smaller auger. Your choice. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Whopper Stopper on Nov 13, 2017, 05:43 AM
Sir
Grandpa always caught fish. He would spit snoose on his worms and minnows.

Should I start chewing Copenhagen?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 13, 2017, 07:31 AM
Sir
Grandpa always caught fish. He would spit snoose on his worms and minnows.

Should I start chewing Copenhagen?

That's a personal choice but I can't recommend it.

Nearly as disgusting were the horehound drops my GrandDad carried in the pocket of his mackinaw at deer camp. He'd rummage in the pocket, dig one out, brush some of the lint and dirt off and offer it to me. Yum!  Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: E Z turn on Nov 13, 2017, 07:41 AM
After being married for over 50 years is it true that the only time I am right is when I admit I'm wrong ?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 13, 2017, 11:16 PM
After being married for over 50 years is it true that the only time I am right is when I admit I'm wrong ?

Depends on if you want to eat crow with or without feathers.....Next Question
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IAHooker on Nov 14, 2017, 12:29 PM
Esox, this is Great!  I have lots of questions, but I think most of us are a talk to a person type. Would you post your Ice Fishing Hotline Number for call ins? Its a shame only your friends and family get to enjoy the hotline! ;D But till you post your number for hundreds to call you I'll just ask here on your hotline board. Since you seem to be quick and full of IT, whats your go to loo when nature calls in the middle of the frozen tundra? Thanks, from a a IS long time LURKER and short time hotline fan.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Nov 14, 2017, 12:52 PM
When fishing in the summer it's called "open water" fishing. Why isn't ice fishing called "closed water" fishing?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: cwavs1982 on Nov 14, 2017, 01:04 PM
What should I do if I rig my minnow on backwards?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Figure ate on Nov 14, 2017, 01:45 PM
Why do chickens have breasts, but not nipples?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Big Ice Hole on Nov 14, 2017, 03:57 PM
If I flush a toilet south of the equator will the water go down counter clockwise?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 04:57 PM
After being married for over 50 years is it true that the only time I am right is when I admit I'm wrong ?

C'mon man. Nobody's really wrong that often. Admit that. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:00 PM
Esox, this is Great!  I have lots of questions, but I think most of us are a talk to a person type. Would you post your Ice Fishing Hotline Number for call ins? Its a shame only your friends and family get to enjoy the hotline! ;D But till you post your number for hundreds to call you I'll just ask here on your hotline board. Since you seem to be quick and full of IT, whats your go to loo when nature calls in the middle of the frozen tundra? Thanks, from a a IS long time LURKER and short time hotline fan.

Thanks Hooker. I don't believe I've ever said that. To your question: They have real restrooms at Lambeau Field. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:03 PM
When fishing in the summer it's called "open water" fishing. Why isn't ice fishing called "closed water" fishing?

Because fishing really isn't closed and some folks might get the wrong idea. No one's calling the summer version "soft water" either. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:05 PM
What should I do if I rig my minnow on backwards?

Nothing. I do that myself to change things up sometimes and I catch fish. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:13 PM
Why do chickens have breasts, but not nipples?

Life is loaded with things that don't make sense. Nippleless chickens are one of those. To expound: If the plural of goose is geese why isn't the plural of moose meese? Or why if there is more than one mouse it's mice but but many grouse are not grice? Ice Fishing Hotline is another. I say go figure or go fish.

Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Agronomist_at_IA on Nov 14, 2017, 05:27 PM
Major question!

With all the places around Upper Red Lake in northern Minnesota, why is it that Hillman's never has Shiners on hand for bait.......My buddies and I have been going up for over ten years now, and make the yearly call to Hillman's to see if the have Shinners minnows...........his response is always no.......once told a lie to us that he never seen or heard of a walleye eating a shiner minnow........we laughed for hours because shiners were the hottest bait the year before catching walleye.

So oh great and knowledgable esox_xtm why does hillman's not carry shiner minnows?

If anyone wants to call and find out the number is (218) 647-8398.........ask if they have shiner minnows.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:35 PM
If I flush a toilet south of the equator will the water go down counter clockwise?

Are you right handed or left handed? Really doesn't matter. If you're standing around watching water go down a toilet bowl you're got more problems than Ice Fishing Hotline can solve. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 05:42 PM
Major question!

With all the places around Upper Red Lake in northern Minnesota, why is it that Hillman's never has Shiners on hand for bait.......My buddies and I have been going up for over ten years now, and make the yearly call to Hillman's to see if the have Shinners minnows...........his response is always no.......once told a lie to us that he never seen or heard of a walleye eating a shiner minnow........we laughed for hours because shiners were the hottest bait the year before catching walleye.

So oh great and knowledgable esox_xtm why does hillman's not carry shiner minnows?

If anyone wants to call and find out the number is (218) 647-8398.........ask if they have shiner minnows.

You're baking up the wrong tree here. Have ya asked Hillmans why? If you haven't, why not go to the horses' mouth instead of here, to the other end. And if Hillman's doesn't know how the H E double hockey sticks should I?

Sheesh. Some people's kids. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 14, 2017, 07:54 PM
I read up, chickens only have one breast, and only one nipple is offered as an option. No one opts for the first nipple. The three nipple is an option on turkeys sometimes.

@ WYIFish: Better keep reading and you're getting too deep. Real answer: All mammary glands are breasts, all breasts are not mammary glands. Chickens are birds, not mammals. Mammary glands are unique to.... OK TMI. Get the idea here? Your interview is over. Bud is hired. Next question.

While I think of it, I want one of whatever you're drinking... ;)2 First round's on me.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: mdrobny on Nov 14, 2017, 08:45 PM
does a one legged duck swim in circles?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: spoofhoundicefisher on Nov 14, 2017, 09:51 PM
if 7 eleven is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year then why have locks on the doors?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 06:04 AM
does a one legged duck swim in circles?

Yes. In the Northern Hemisphere they swim clockwise, below the equator counter-clockwise. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 06:12 AM
if 7 eleven is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year then why have locks on the doors?

They not only forgot they don't need locks but didn't change the name to "24 Seven 365" either. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Sandcountrylivin on Nov 15, 2017, 06:36 AM
I.f.h. My fishing partner(6yr old nephew) has a 10 second attention span. If we are not on fish he is bouncing off the walls of my shantie. How do I tame the beast that is my fishing partner.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 06:57 AM
I.f.h. My fishing partner(6yr old nephew) has a 10 second attention span. If we are not on fish he is bouncing off the walls of my shantie. How do I tame the beast that is my fishing partner.

Great question and thanks for calling. Kids are an investment in the future and the younger you start 'em the more you can mold 'em. When my baby was 6 food was always good. Especially some grilled brats or burgers. I know you want to fish but take some time off and play some football or throw snow balls or make a snowman or see how far you can slide on your bellies on the ice. Find some simple "jobs" for them to help with then they feel like part of the team. They might not do it right but that's how they learn.

Don't look at it as your fishing as much as it is your responsibility as a parent/mentor. If you do it right your investment will come back 100x. I know I did something right. Today my "baby" is 34 and is on one of the Apostle Islands on a camping bowhunt before the gun season opens. I'll be meeting him in the morning.  :thumbsup:

OK, enough serious talk. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tbern on Nov 15, 2017, 07:30 AM
Good answer,   :clap:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 15, 2017, 07:49 AM
Good answer,   :clap:

I liked that one too.  I don't think Mark read my resume over very well.  and not only that, I am becoming suspicious that Mark is Judge Judy in disguise.  Never mind I am in Colorado..........what was the question ?   Oh yeah, Dave's not here.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 10:52 AM
I liked that one too.  I don't think Mark read my resume over very well.  and not only that, I am becoming suspicious that Mark is Judge Judy in disguise.  Never mind I am in Colorado..........what was the question ?   Oh yeah, Dave's not here.

1.) Mark? Mark who?

2.) Judge Judy? You're fired.

3.) No bonus points for impersonating Hal. Just close the pod bays doors when you leave will ya?

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline. Next question.

/mike
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Evinrude58 on Nov 15, 2017, 11:12 AM
Decided when answering unknown numbers to use the Ice Fishing Hotline bit. Got a call this morning from an unknown number and confused them like you wouldn't believe. conversation went like this:

ME-     Ice Fishing Hotline, how can we help you?

Them- Really?

Me-     Yes

Them- where is everybody?

Me-     Ice fishing

Them- There is ice in Ohio?

Me-     No, everyone went to Wisconsin, there is ice there.

Them- I guess I will call back later.

Me-     Thanks for calling. Have a nice day.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tbern on Nov 15, 2017, 11:14 AM
Decided when answering unknown numbers to use the Ice Fishing Hotline bit. Got a call this morning from an unknown number and confused them like you wouldn't believe. conversation went like this:

ME-     Ice Fishing Hotline, how can we help you?

Them- Really?        Funny!!

Me-     Yes

Them- where is everybody?

Me-     Ice fishing

Them- There is ice in Ohio?

Me-     No, everyone went to Wisconsin, there is ice there.

Them- I guess I will call back later.

Me-     Thanks for calling. Have a nice day.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Kov619 on Nov 15, 2017, 01:53 PM
We all go ice fishing ?????  What is the size  limit of the ice we fish for....and what is our days  limit????
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: 52isntbigenough on Nov 15, 2017, 02:10 PM
A new UTV with tracks or new boobs for my wife?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 03:10 PM
 :roflmao:
Decided when answering unknown numbers to use the Ice Fishing Hotline bit. Got a call this morning from an unknown number and confused them like you wouldn't believe. conversation went like this:

ME-     Ice Fishing Hotline, how can we help you?

Them- Really?

Me-     Yes

Them- where is everybody?

Me-     Ice fishing

Them- There is ice in Ohio?

Me-     No, everyone went to Wisconsin, there is ice there.

Them- I guess I will call back later.

Me-     Thanks for calling. Have a nice day.

See how much fun this is?  @)
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 03:12 PM
We all go ice fishing ?????  What is the size  limit of the ice we fish for....and what is our days  limit????

The ice size limit is whatever fits in my martini glass and the days limit is a minimum of two though it sounds like your beyond that. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 03:13 PM
A new UTV with tracks or new boobs for my wife?

Get what you will use the most. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IceholeFisherman on Nov 15, 2017, 04:19 PM
 :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 15, 2017, 06:16 PM
Well now Mikey, next time I won't have to guess.  At least I got 2 out of the 4 letters right  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Just a random icefisherma on Nov 15, 2017, 07:04 PM
Here's  question:
My cousin fell through the ice and didn't get wet. He wasnt wearing a ice suit either.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 07:36 PM
Well now Mikey, next time I won't have to guess.  At least I got 2 out of the 4 letters right  ;D

Now that's funny Bud. I was sitting here with my mom and out of the blue she called me "Mikey". She hasn't called me that for over 50 years. It was weird, just came out. surprised her too. Heck, you can call me what you want 'cept late for dinner.  ;)2
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 15, 2017, 07:37 PM
Here's  question:
My cousin fell through the ice and didn't get wet. He wasnt wearing a ice suit either.

Hmmmm. That's tough. What's the question? Next question.  ::)
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Just a random icefisherma on Nov 16, 2017, 08:57 AM
Hmmmm. That's tough. What's the question? Next question.  ::)
Why didn't he get wet when he fell through? I made it a little vague didn't I?
Sorry bout that
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 16, 2017, 11:29 PM
Why didn't he get wet when he fell through? I made it a little vague didn't I?
Sorry bout that

Tell him he should not be crawling on the top of igloos.  Next question
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Kov619 on Nov 17, 2017, 07:03 AM
My buddy and I spent time this  spring building some brush piles  for this winter ...to fish over  this winter ..how do we keep others off of our  spot....we built???????. On LA...... :tipup: :tipup:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: captain54 on Nov 17, 2017, 08:32 AM
 It's was supposed to be a secret. Now everyone knows.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Unclegillhunter on Nov 17, 2017, 09:55 AM
Sorry for this but it maybe a real question. Do fish under the ice react to moon phases?
Keep it safe! JDL
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Light liner on Nov 17, 2017, 12:55 PM
Why is there braille on the buttons of a drive through ATM machine?

Beginning of a movie it reads:
"This movie has been modified to fit your TV"
How do they know what size my TV is?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Nov 17, 2017, 12:58 PM
Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: lostbrit on Nov 17, 2017, 01:17 PM
if we call a orange because it orange then why aren't bananas called yellow?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Bumski on Nov 17, 2017, 02:03 PM
The ice size limit is whatever fits in my martini glass and the days limit is a minimum of two though it sounds like your beyond that. Next question.
The question is why in the heck do you put ice in a Martini?  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:38 PM
Why didn't he get wet when he fell through? I made it a little vague didn't I?
Sorry bout that

Because he was all wet to begin with. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:39 PM
My buddy and I spent time this  spring building some brush piles  for this winter ...to fish over  this winter ..how do we keep others off of our  spot....we built???????. On LA...... :tipup: :tipup:

Don't fish over 'em. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:41 PM
Sorry for this but it maybe a real question. Do fish under the ice react to moon phases?
Keep it safe! JDL

Of course, it's just ice. People still get loony during a full moon even if they're inside. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:43 PM
Why is there braille on the buttons of a drive through ATM machine?

Beginning of a movie it reads:
"This movie has been modified to fit your TV"
How do they know what size my TV is?

So you can use 'em at night. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:47 PM
Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

Not necessarily true. I drove slow on the driveway when my dad came to Walbrook. I am an excellent driver, yeah. next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:52 PM
if we call a orange because it orange then why aren't bananas called yellow?

For the same reason we call my buddies yellow Ranger the banana boat. Orange ya glad I didn't say banana again? Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:55 PM
The question is why in the heck do you put ice in a Martini?  ;D

Because room temperature vodka (my preference) is horrible. The real question should be shaken or stirred. Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 03:58 PM
Why shook but not stired, and one that wasn't aired publicly, Ginger or Maryanne!


Re: Shaken and not stirred was the preference of James Bond who valued the extreme cold of a shaken drink over the classic stirring.

Ginger v Maryann? C'mon man, this is a family site  ;)2 But as long as you asked it's Maryann  :tipup:

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Bumski on Nov 17, 2017, 04:01 PM
Because room temperature vodka (my preference) is horrible. The real question should be shaken or stirred. Next question.
BLASPHEMY........A Martini is (chilled) gin and you wave the cork off the bottle of Vermouth over the glass and salute in the general direction of Italy (where Vermouth is made).......anything else is NOT a Martini sir.... ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 17, 2017, 04:52 PM
As you wish but ice is still involved unless you're keeping the gin in the freezer. Classic, original martini (marguerite with Plymouth gin) is 2:1, stirred and strained. Coincidentally I've got a glass of Plymouth in front of me right now, about 4 - 5 drops of Martini Rossi and some ice. Blasphemy? If you say so but I'm enjoyin' it.  ;)2

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kasilofchrisn on Nov 19, 2017, 03:51 PM
You have to choose between marriage and fishing!
Do you choose softwater or hardwater fishing?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 19, 2017, 06:24 PM
You have to choose between marriage and fishing!
Do you choose softwater or hardwater fishing?

Well, not me any more. Cancer got my wife in 2016. If there's another choice there will be a discussion.  ;)2

Soft (you said that Chris?) v hard? Sorry guys open water gives me a longer season unless I move waaaaay North. Like Canada eh?

There will always be Ice Fishing Hotline... :roflmao: :thumbsup: :roflmao:

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tbern on Nov 19, 2017, 07:27 PM
Very sorry esox, cancer sucks!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 19, 2017, 08:04 PM
Thanks tbern. You're right, even when it's not you. And @kasilofchrisn: No worries man.  Had plenty of time to get my mind right even though I missed a couple of things. For those that have to answer, that's a play by play call. Good luck!

Ice fishing Hotline, next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: sturboy on Nov 22, 2017, 12:47 PM
O Wonderfully Wise and Wildly Whimsical Wone:

If e=m(c squared) and y=mx + b, then what is the formula for catching more crappies through the ice?

- Big Brain Brad, aka Criminally Clueless Charlie
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 22, 2017, 02:53 PM
O Wonderfully Wise and Wildly Whimsical Wone:

If e=m(c squared) and y=mx + b, then what is the formula for catching more crappies through the ice?

- Big Brain Brad, aka Criminally Clueless Charlie

Crappie bait, preferably on a hook, attached to your line, the rest of the formula that really helps is your private crappie pond.  Next Question
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 22, 2017, 07:36 PM
O Wonderfully Wise and Wildly Whimsical Wone:

If e=m(c squared) and y=mx + b, then what is the formula for catching more crappies through the ice?

- Big Brain Brad, aka Criminally Clueless Charlie

Never was good at arithmetics, especially that abstract junk. I don't even know what "e" or "y" is and don't really care so none of that matters. Move till ya find 'em then fine tune your presentation and work 'em over.

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Nov 22, 2017, 08:48 PM
O Wonderfully Wise and Wildly Whimsical Wone:

If e=m(c squared) and y=mx + b, then what is the formula for catching more crappies through the ice?

- Big Brain Brad, aka Criminally Clueless Charlie

F=(W[B+H])/L
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Evinrude58 on Nov 22, 2017, 09:34 PM
Just an FYI. Since starting to answer unknown phone numbers with "Ice fishing hotline, how can we help you?" unknown callers has dropped off by at least 50%, so I hardly get to use it any more.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 23, 2017, 06:14 AM
F=(W[B+H])/L

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline. Since this is not a question there is no answer. Next question.

PS: The only "math" I ever got was F+L+P=S.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Nov 23, 2017, 06:15 AM
Just an FYI. Since starting to answer unknown phone numbers with "Ice fishing hotline, how can we help you?" unknown callers has dropped off by at least 50%, so I hardly get to use it any more.

Thanks for sharing Evinrude58! See how much fun this is?  :roflmao: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: spoofhoundicefisher on Nov 30, 2017, 09:35 PM
is tungsten worth the extra moolah.  or should i stay with the tried and true ol' lead.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Nov 30, 2017, 10:39 PM
is tungsten worth the extra moolah.  or should i stay with the tried and true ol' lead.
It's the only way to go when your talking small jigs or really shallow water since it would take forever for the jig to sink. It also helps with sensitivity since it has more weight to undo any slack or curls in your line.

My own question:
I've always just gone with wax worms and meal worms for bait since I work in a pet store. Are spikes really worth it for me to order myself since no one around me sells them?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: IFF on Nov 30, 2017, 11:03 PM
It's the only way to go when your talking small jigs or really shallow water since it would take forever for the jig to sink. It also helps with sensitivity since it has more weight to undo any slack or curls in your line.

My own question:
I've always just gone with wax worms and meal worms for bait since I work in a pet store. Are spikes really worth it for me to order myself since no one around me sells them?

Sorry all Ice fishing hot line operators are taking their naps.  Call back during regular hours and your question will be answered in the order received.  In the mean time,  If was worms, and meal worms work why change  ???  Next question  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 01, 2017, 06:43 AM
is tungsten worth the extra moolah.  or should i stay with the tried and true ol' lead.

Pack both and cover your bases. There is a time and place for both.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 01, 2017, 06:45 AM

My own question:
I've always just gone with wax worms and meal worms for bait since I work in a pet store. Are spikes really worth it for me to order myself since no one around me sells them?

You don't have to order spikes. Throw a handful of raw meat in the corner and check it in a few days.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kasilofchrisn on Dec 01, 2017, 09:22 AM
If a hole drilled in the ice is one hole,
How many holes are in a straw?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 01, 2017, 05:11 PM
If a hole drilled in the ice is one hole,
How many holes are in a straw?

Incorrect. An ice hole is also two holes. Jump in and look up. The real question is which is "in" and which is "out"?

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: E Z turn on Dec 03, 2017, 06:49 AM
Oh great Sage how does my Colon know I have just layered on all my ice fishing clothes and am about to head out the door ?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Dec 24, 2017, 10:40 AM
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: stinkyfingers on Dec 24, 2017, 11:29 AM
This year I've invested in some portable holes to save the labor of hauling out an auger. What's the best way to carry them out onto the ice? They just fall through whatever I put them in. 
Thank you.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2017, 11:34 AM
Oh great Sage how does my Colon know I have just layered on all my ice fishing clothes and am about to head out the door ?

Sounds like a po++y training issue.  ::)

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2017, 11:53 AM
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Only if the box looks like this:

(https://i.postimg.cc/BQH82JZn/Veggie-Animal-Crax.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2017, 11:55 AM
This year I've invested in some portable holes to save the labor of hauling out an auger. What's the best way to carry them out onto the ice? They just fall through whatever I put them in. 
Thank you.

Don't worry about it. UPS or FedEx won't be able to hang on to 'em either so you'll never get 'em. Keep looking for options.

Next question
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: onestring on Dec 24, 2017, 11:56 AM
great stuff here's my ? y do we park on a driveway and drive on the parkway also y do I sound like a broken record to my son always repeating myself but if someone else tells him the same thing he gets it lol
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2017, 12:22 PM
great stuff here's my ? y do we park on a driveway and drive on the parkway also y do I sound like a broken record to my son always repeating myself but if someone else tells him the same thing he gets it lol

The park/driveway thing has been visited a few times. Not goin' there again.

As far as your son? That's one of the two absolute laws of fatherhood:

#1) No one listens to the Dad. At least not in the first place... ::)

#2) The Dad is always the last one to know. Anything pretty much.  :wacko:

And no asking why they're laws. It's just like gravity, relativity and your wife always being right. No one can explain it. It just is.

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline, Merry Christmas!

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Dec 17, 2018, 12:44 PM
Is the hotline still open for advise?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Dec 17, 2018, 12:49 PM
Isnt there a shutdown looming?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Dec 17, 2018, 01:29 PM
Isnt there a shutdown looming?
Oh right, the O/T cleansing is prob going to start.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 17, 2018, 07:11 PM
Is the hotline still open for advise?

24 hours a day. No cover charge... Next question  ;)2

Isnt there a shutdown looming?


We are independently funded and not a government body. So no. Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Dec 17, 2018, 07:17 PM
24 hours a day. No cover charge... Next question  ;)2

We are independently funded and not a government body. So no. Next question...
Actually have something I’ve been doing some reading about, your opinion could help lol
Do you use quick strike rigs and what types do you prefer?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: skifisher on Dec 17, 2018, 07:22 PM
With all the recalls on vehicles, lettuce, and meat, has there EVER been a recall on beer or donuts?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: brokefarmer on Dec 17, 2018, 08:03 PM
Oh wise one, can you please explain the joys of icefishing to mu wife.  She doesn't listen to me.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 17, 2018, 08:19 PM
With all the recalls on vehicles, lettuce, and meat, has there EVER been a recall on beer or donuts?

Don't know why I didn't think of that. Effective immediately: Recall for ALL beer and doughnuts. Please send to Ice Fishing Hotline for proper disposal.

While we're at it may as well include good tequila (Cuervo is excluded from the recall) and peanuts  @)

Next question...

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 17, 2018, 08:24 PM
Oh wise one, can you please explain the joys of icefishing to mu wife.  She doesn't listen to me.

This is a hotline. We only answer questions. The answer to your question is no; splainin' anything is out of our jurisdiction unless it is in answer to a question.

Hmmm, kinda sounds like Jeopardy doesn't it? I'll take tip-up fishing for $500 Alex.  :tipup:

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: A man called horse on Dec 18, 2018, 09:06 PM
My wife instantly losses 40# when she's on the ice and hears it crack. How can we cash in on this diet? ???
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 18, 2018, 09:14 PM
My wife instantly losses 40# when she's on the ice and has it crack. How can we cash in on this diet? ???

I'm not getting it. Gonna hafta 'splain it better than that before you can make anything more than a puzzled look in my book.

Next question... <wow  ::)>
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2018, 02:03 PM
Actually have something I’ve been doing some reading about, your opinion could help lol
Do you use quick strike rigs and what types do you prefer?

Thanks for holding, your call is important and is being answered at our convenience.

Almost missed this. After all, it's a real question  ::)

Yes, Ice Fishing Hotline uses Q/S rigs all the time on larger live and all dead baits. Our preference is for the "classic" style with a second adjustable hook threaded on the same leader as the fixed hook. A pair of #10s for live bait and #6s for deads.

(https://i.postimg.cc/d3vdJ06V/Q-SRigs6amp10sm2-zpsebc587c6.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

(https://i.postimg.cc/gc7pDXYB/20181130-102935.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

This rig has proven plenty effective covering deads baits up to 15". There is no advantage in the "yoke" style rigs unless you can't sleep because your bait won't hang perfectly horizontal. Getting into "horizontal rigging" whole 'nother answer to a different question so we digress. See below for hook placement:

(https://i.postimg.cc/7hxJrBy0/Q-S-Rigging.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)


Still like smaller treble hooks for positive hookups plus they're easy to find. I've done the Partridge Ryder hooks but was not able to see an advantage in them other than having something exotic on the end of our leader. We hookup well over 95% of the time if the fish is taking line.

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline. Next question...


Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Huntindave on Dec 24, 2018, 05:42 PM
I have question concerning your "hotline".  How can it be a "hotline" if it concerns ice fishing? Should it not be a "cold-line?  If I use a "hotline", is there any danger of it melting into the ice?  Can one lay a loop of "hotline" onto the surface of the ice, melting a hole thru the ice, thereby eliminating the need for an auger? Am I limited to one question per entry?

PS; seeing as how Hotline is independently funded, Do you accept donations?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 24, 2018, 05:57 PM
Wow! You must really love ice fishing. You have many questions... Lessee, in the order of their appearance:

1.) It is a "hotline" by definition: "A hotline is a point-to-point communications link in which a call is automatically directed to the preselected destination without any additional action by the user" I am the hotline informant, you didn't have to go through anyone else to get to me hence...

2.) No, the cold line belongs down the hole with bait at the business end.

3.) Only if you ask 20 or more questions in one call and one of them is "Is it bigger than a bread box?"

4.) See the answer to Question #3 above.

5.) Apparently so... :roflmao:

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline. Next question...

And Merry Christmas!  ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Seamonkey84 on Dec 24, 2018, 10:29 PM
Thanks for holding, your call is important and is being answered at our convenience.

Almost missed this. After all, it's a real question  ::)

Yes, Ice Fishing Hotline uses Q/S rigs all the time on larger live and all dead baits. Our preference is for the "classic" style with a second adjustable hook threaded on the same leader as the fixed hook. A pair of #10s for live bait and #6s for deads.

(https://i.postimg.cc/d3vdJ06V/Q-SRigs6amp10sm2-zpsebc587c6.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

(https://i.postimg.cc/gc7pDXYB/20181130-102935.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline. Next question...
Thank you. I thought I was getting completely ignored lol. So tie them just like I do my sliding bait rigs for trolling, but with with two trebles.
 I thread the hook onto the leader and  then use another piece of fluoro to tie a nail knot around the hook shank and leader. Would 10lb fluoro be enough? I couldn’t do that many wraps with 40lb lol.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: hays47 on Dec 25, 2018, 06:23 AM
Sir-- I seriously question the usefulness and accuracy of the IFH. When the question of milking perch was posted early on. In a solemn search of knowledge of this age old question. I waded through all seven pages in a fury. Only to find out that you neglected ( and others ) to mention . The most critical need in this delicate operation. An awful short stool.

I rest my case. Perhaps I should have posted this under  COIFH . Constantly Opining Ice Fishing Hotline yeah or nay.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 25, 2018, 06:43 AM
WARNING: Serious answer ahead!

@seamonkey84: No reason a lashing with fluoro wouldn't work. Even with 10# it's probably stronger than the heat shrink but certainly not faster. Your choice...

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 25, 2018, 06:53 AM
Sir-- I seriously question the usefulness and accuracy of the IFH. When the question of milking perch was posted early on. In a solemn search of knowledge of this age old question. I waded through all seven pages in a fury. Only to find out that you neglected ( and others ) to mention . The most critical need in this delicate operation. An awful short stool.

I rest my case. Perhaps I should have posted this under  COIFH . Constantly Opining Ice Fishing Hotline yeah or nay.


Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline! Merry Christmas  ;D

Hotline has noted your question even though we couldn't discern an actual question in what you wrote. Time wading the body of knowledge here is not wasted as the wealth cannot be found elsewhere.

As far as the perch milking operation, being gentle is still the critical part. Don't forget what yer pullin' on! To your observation on that: When we put out the "Help Wanted" again may we call you  ;)2

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 25, 2018, 06:57 AM
Is Mike McCarthy the most gutless play caller in the NFL?

Not just yet. Next question.

After further review the ruling on the forum has been overturned.

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Kobey on Dec 25, 2018, 06:59 AM
Why do they sell Batman shampoo but they don't have Conditioner Gordon?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Huntindave on Dec 25, 2018, 07:06 AM

 To your observation on that: When we put out the "Help Wanted" again may we call you  ;)2

Next question...

Just another observation from life in general.  When seeking "hired help"  Offering a decent "wage" usually results in better "hired help".  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, just sayin,,, ;)2 ;)2 >:D

PS; Merry Christmas  :tipup:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 25, 2018, 07:10 AM
Why do they sell Batman shampoo but they don't have Conditioner Gordon?

Because whenever I find a product I like they discontinue it and the price for remaining stock gets stupid. That said, if you ever come across this:

(https://i.postimg.cc/HkH61k8y/Conditioner-Gordon.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/Tp7VrG9d)

I'll pay $500 for each factory sealed bottle and purchase all the remaining stock. Works wonders for my unruly mane.

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Dec 25, 2018, 07:14 AM
Just another observation from life in general.  When seeking "hired help"  Offering a decent "wage" usually results in better "hired help".  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, just sayin,,, ;)2 ;)2 >:D

PS; Merry Christmas  :tipup:

Merry Christmas from the Hotline and thanks for calling!

Since this is an independently funded public service anyone employed by Ice Fishing Hotline works for peanuts. We also provide tequila on the holidays. If you're really good you might get a fine cigar for your annual bonus.

Next time you call the Hotline please have a question Can't you see we're busy?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Aug 27, 2019, 09:06 AM
Yes esox, I am aware that the last post was over 120 days ago...

Would farmers rely on the accuracy of an ice fishermen's almanac if one existed?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 27, 2019, 09:30 AM
Yes esox, I am aware that the last post was over 120 days ago...

Would farmers rely on the accuracy of an ice fishermen's almanac if one existed?

Only if they were going fishing.

Next question...

Thanks resurrecting the zombie ATC!  :clap: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Light liner on Aug 28, 2019, 09:21 AM
When I rent a movie in the beginning theres a notice that says "this movie has been modified to fit your television"
My question is, how do they know what size my TV is?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 28, 2019, 09:40 AM
When I rent a movie in the beginning theres a notice that says "this movie has been modified to fit your television"
My question is, how do they know what size my TV is?

They just know. Creepy isn't it? Think of what else they know about you (and your TV) or other things. Big Brother is alive and well! And you thought no one would ever know you were renting that stuff. :roflmao:

Seriously, movies are made for a screen with a different aspect ratio (picture width to height) than most TVs. The movies are modified to fit common TV ratios for the after theater market. If you haven't adjusted setting on your TV and the aspect ratio is in the default/standard mode you will see movies as they have been broadcast or, in your case, as they have been transferred to tape/disc.

Don't ask me how I know these things. I just do (no help from Google).

Next question...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: hays47 on Aug 28, 2019, 03:56 PM
Seriously now Darwin based based his theory of evolution on the premise that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Laymen often use the other term biogenetic law of embryological  parallelism .

My question to the  hot line. Humans being so far up the evolutionary scale as compared to the lowly fish. Why are humans constantly outwitted by such a lowly creature ?

By the way Darwin was wrong.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 29, 2019, 07:10 AM
Tryin' to drag me into the deep end of the pool here hays. Bottom line here is if Darwin was wrong, we can assume that your actual question is invalid as it is based on the premise that he was correct. I know, that's the cheap way out. Lemme take a swing.

Regardless of our position on the "evolutionary scale" being able to understand an "alien" life form and "outwit" them in their own element seems to us a losing proposition. Think of it. Not only are these beings far from human but reside in an environment that we can only hope to imagine. Sure, we think we understand but c'mon. There's really no way. Our only weapons are time on the water and the ability to make correlations between things that happen or we observe and success in angling. That's it, that's our greatest hope.

Short answer: Got a wife or a girlfriend? They live in your world. Right in front of you. How many of those encounters do you win? Hmmm?  ::)
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: hays47 on Aug 29, 2019, 07:40 AM
Touche  ! sir you have won the field. ;D. As to the female side of things. While I was in the dating app. I do not ever remember being wrong. Once I loaded the marriage app. I do not remember ever being right.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: missoulafish on Aug 29, 2019, 08:03 AM
😂😂😂
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 29, 2019, 09:22 AM
As to the female side of things. While I was in the dating app. I do not ever remember being wrong. Once I loaded the marriage app. I do not remember ever being right.

Just like a carp on a doughball...  :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Aug 29, 2019, 12:52 PM
a mare mundane question---why is Rhode called an Island when it isn't??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 29, 2019, 03:11 PM
a mare mundane question---why is Rhode called an Island when it isn't??

Rhode Islanders are very forward thinkers. As global warming progresses it will become an island and they just wanted to be prepared.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Raquettedacker on Aug 29, 2019, 03:14 PM
Oh wise one..
My InLaws and there stupid labradoodle will be here any minute.  How long till me or my Rott piss them off? Or should I say how many times in the next week?    ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 29, 2019, 03:58 PM
Oh wise one..
My InLaws and there stupid labradoodle will be here any minute.  How long till me or my Rott piss them off? Or should I say how many times in the next week?    ;D

Oh you and yer companion already have. Trust me, they dread the visit as much (or maybe more) than you do. Especially their stupid little musky bait of a what passes for a dog. It's probably peeing in it's little poodle pants just thinking about it. They're only there to see their daughter.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: gorf37 on Aug 29, 2019, 10:44 PM
How many extra air bags do I need to put in my truck before it'll float when I drive it through thin ice?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 30, 2019, 06:06 AM
How many extra air bags do I need to put in my truck before it'll float when I drive it through thin ice?

Just one. If you bring me I got enough hot air to float a fire truck.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Aug 30, 2019, 06:47 PM
Rhode Islanders are very forward thinkers. As global warming progresses it will become an island and they just wanted to be prepared.

Next question.

So are you saying they know more than your Prez??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 31, 2019, 09:17 AM
So are you saying they know more than your Prez??

I said nothing of the sort. I got enough words in my mouth without anyone trying to cram more in there.

Besides, I'm the one that brought up global warming. And FWIW I have to believe it's true because Al Gore invented it. He also invented the internet and I believe that too  :whistle:

Next non-question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Aug 31, 2019, 09:48 AM
I said nothing of the sort.:




You mean the same way the Greeks invented sex, but then the Italians invented sex with wimmin??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Aug 31, 2019, 10:09 AM
There ya go again Sir! Never said anything about Greeks or Italians and for sure not anything about $ex. After all, this is a family site  :callcops:  :roflmao:

Besides, my pal Al did invent the "interweb" and global warming. Just ask him :blink:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kayl on Sep 03, 2019, 12:59 PM
Why can't I stop spending money on fishing stuff? I have enough to open a small tackle store! :-P
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 03, 2019, 01:44 PM
Why can't I stop spending money on fishing stuff? I have enough to open a small tackle store! :-P

Because it's fun! Don't collect coins or stamps, don't sit at the saloon for hours on end, don't play golf, don't do RC stuff and don't gamble (except on tournament entry fees). Gotta do something otherwise it's no fun and I'd have saved so many $$ I could have retired at 40. Wait... What?Shucks, I guess it's too late to go back to 40.  ::)

We'll see your "small tackle store" and raise you a 5 store local franchise.  ::) Be glad you're not a musky fisherman  ;)2

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DR.SPECKLER on Sep 03, 2019, 01:45 PM
ok heres  one that im thinking about right now..why do corn dogs have sticks  thru them?i get to be portable part at fairs but the position of the stick is you have to pull it out after eating the corndog halfway anyways or get the stick.lol eating one now and it just dawned on me that the stick sucks!!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Agronomist_at_IA on Sep 04, 2019, 09:35 PM
ok heres  one that im thinking about right now..why do corn dogs have sticks  thru them?i get to be portable part at fairs but the position of the stick is you have to pull it out after eating the corndog halfway anyways or get the stick.lol eating one now and it just dawned on me that the stick sucks!!

No one likes a limp wiener
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DR.SPECKLER on Sep 05, 2019, 06:25 AM
No one likes a limp wiener
haha theres the answer!theres no pill out yet for a corn dog.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 05, 2019, 07:16 AM
Nice work Agro! Unfortunately IFH has no positions currently open or we would send you an offer sheet.  ;)2

Corn dogs... Raises another issue. Who is eating those things and why? They are horrible  :sick: I've had exactly one corn dog in my entire life and that was like 45 years ago. Blecccch!

@ Doc Speckler - Perhaps if they were to put that little blue pill in the corn dog there could be a reason for some guys to indulge. Fortunately for me that still would not be a reason for me to revisit corn dog h311.  :P

Thanks again Agro. Since you already answered the query I have technically not answered the question with another question.  ;D

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Sep 05, 2019, 07:20 AM
Nice work Agro! Unfortunately IFH has no positions currently open or we would send you an offer sheet.  ;)2

Corn dogs... Raises another issue. Who is eating those things and why? They are horrible  :sick: I've had exactly one corn dog in my entire life and that was like 45 years ago. Blecccch!

Thanks again Agro. Since you already answered the query I have technically not answered the question with another question.  ;D

Next question.

You should at minimum keep his resume on file for 6 months...
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Lukaszu on Sep 05, 2019, 09:55 AM
Here's one
Has Clam ever made anything?
Or have they always bought stuff from China and just stamped "CLAM" on them?.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: winterbuddy on Sep 05, 2019, 10:30 AM
Corn dogs... Raises another issue. Who is eating those things and why? They are horrible  :sick:

Corn dogs suck, Pronto pups all the way! 
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kayl on Sep 05, 2019, 11:08 AM
Corn dogs suck, Pronto pups all the way!

Must be the kid in me, but I've always loved a good corn dog! I even made my kids homemade corn dog bites in our instant pot last week!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 05, 2019, 11:57 AM
@Lukaszu - We'll say perhaps (yes), but it would have been very early in their business cycle. Genz began making the Fish Trap by hand in his garage in 1979 - 1980. Can't say if had already outsourced manufacture when he sold the rights to Clam in 1992. Even then Clam was not what it is today. When that business sold to the current owner in 2003 they only made 8 items. Just look at 'em now! With over 750 items currently offered for sale by Clam profit margins come into play. When you consider that most direct competitors are peddling imported items there is little choice if you want to remain competitive.That said, there is no reason that just because it comes from China means it's a pile of junk. Sometimes, certainly but the company has control over what they contract out. If the company wants the cheapest thing possible then that what they (and us) ultimately get. Used to be if it came from Japan or Korea it was instantly junk too. See how that's changed.

Remember, you asked... ;)2

Must be the kid in me, but I've always loved a good corn dog! I even made my kids homemade corn dog bites in our instant pot last week!

You are a disappointment!  :o C'mon man, even shameless pike won't eat a corn dog. Doesn't that tell ya something? Hmmm?   ::)

I "unfriend" you!  :P  :roflmao: (not really  ;)2)


Corn dogs suck, Pronto pups all the way! 

A corn dog by any other name...  :sick:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DR.SPECKLER on Sep 05, 2019, 01:33 PM
Funny, i hate regular hotdogs but like corndogs.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: kayl on Sep 05, 2019, 01:44 PM
You are a disappointment!  :o C'mon man, even shameless pike won't eat a corn dog. Doesn't that tell ya something? Hmmm?   ::)


Sounds like a challenge to me. We both know they'll hit hotdogs!  :roflmao:
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Sierra57 on Sep 05, 2019, 02:23 PM
The realest question of them all, are corn dogs acceptable if cooked on a Mr. Buddy in the shack this winter? You have to admit they are an awful convenient ice fishing meal.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DR.SPECKLER on Sep 05, 2019, 02:50 PM
The realest question of them all, are corn dogs acceptable if cooked on a Mr. Buddy in the shack this winter? You have to admit they are an awful convenient ice fishing meal.
my vote is yes.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 05, 2019, 03:04 PM
Youse guys can have mine. I'd rather eat minnows and spikes. Yum! :P
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: spoofhoundicefisher on Sep 05, 2019, 07:37 PM
gonna get a family member an electric fillet knife.  why does all the descriptions say 110v.  should it not say 120v? 
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 06, 2019, 07:03 AM
120, 121 whatever it takes.  ;)2

Seriously, a number of different voltage designations exist. I've even seen 115v but it's really all the same.

Think about your electric range or if you have a welder in the shop. Those are often listed as 220/240v. You can buy a 110v model and be confident it will work in all your household outlets. Just be sure it's not wired for the European market. They have a different plug and run on 220 - 240v.

Happy shopping!

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: perchnut on Sep 06, 2019, 08:09 AM
whats the furthest you've driven to ice fish.....?  And did you pull a sled....? 
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 13, 2019, 05:22 PM
whats the furthest you've driven to ice fish.....?  And did you pull a sled....?


I've driven from here frequently to fish St. Germain area, Rainbow Flowage specifically, and it's about 4 hours or a little better one way. Never been to MN, either one of the Dakotas or Canada for ice but I'd like to. LBDN at Escabana is about 4 hours too and done that twice. Once I get moved to 3 Lakes full time MN becomes more of a reality and LBDN is actually significantly closer. The truth of it is I hate driving. Not that I don't like navigating the traffic, just consider it wasted time that I could be doing anything else more enjoyable.

Farthest I've pulled a sled is around a mile. Might have been a little over/under, didn't measure with a tape or GPS but a full mile is close. Probably try not to do that much more. I'll be 65 next month and though a good walk shouldn't hurt a guy my age I'd just prefer to not. That's why there's a Polaris sled sittin' in the storage up north  ;)2

That said I just dropped my truck for service and walked home. 2.2 miles and did it in 40 minutes. Not bad for a guy my age  :flex: And yes, I walked back to pick it up...  :woot:

Next question(s).
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 13, 2019, 09:21 PM
whats the furthest you've driven to ice fish.....?  And did you pull a sled....?

On reconsideration of your seemingly serious questions I've realized my answers were really not in the spirit of this usually frivolous thread. Let me take another swing.

Nowhere near far enough and not on the freeway. (I do better with a couple sips of good tequila...  ;)2)

Now... Next question.

That's better!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Sep 14, 2019, 07:11 PM
Are serious questions forbidden or just strongly discouraged??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 15, 2019, 05:44 AM
Are serious questions forbidden or just strongly discouraged??

It's a Hotline Sir. We are here to serve you!  ;)2  You ask, we'll answer.

If you go back to the beginning and catch the drift of this whole thing the intent was on the silly side. There have been a few, what I would consider, serious questions that I have addressed appropriately. The query from perchnut struck me first as serious and then as an opportunity to be a little goofy.

So the short answer to you: No and no. Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline!  @) :tipup:

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: hays47 on Sep 16, 2019, 01:18 PM
Although the IHS has not asked me. I offer free of charge the following advice. Answers provided by IHS might not prove to be the answer given by those in charge (your boss aka wife ).

Reason I know this to be true. Wife asks in August any idea what you want for Christmas ? I am 71 she is 68. After a lifetime of buying gifts every year. There is nothing left to buy. Anyway I digress hope you are still awake.

My stock reply is I could always use something for ice fishing. Her stock reply is I just came from your (8&%$#@! ) fishing garage. You don't need anything remotely connected to fishing.

So my question to IHS ( finally ) . WHY DOSE SHE ASK ?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Sep 16, 2019, 07:06 PM
So if serious Qs are allowed, here's one----Why do farts follow you(or more correctly, me) around after the fact. Can't just perk 'em in a corner/
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 16, 2019, 07:30 PM
Although the IHS has not asked me. I offer free of charge the following advice. Answers provided by IHS might not prove to be the answer given by those in charge (your boss aka wife ).

Reason I know this to be true. Wife asks in August any idea what you want for Christmas ? I am 71 she is 68. After a lifetime of buying gifts every year. There is nothing left to buy. Anyway I digress hope you are still awake.

My stock reply is I could always use something for ice fishing. Her stock reply is I just came from your (8&%$#@! ) fishing garage. You don't need anything remotely connected to fishing.

So my question to IHS ( finally ) . WHY DOSE SHE ASK ?

Because she really doesn't get it. Really. That and looking at your accumulated "stuff" she can't possibly fathom what she could find that you might actually want. She'd really like to surprise you but you've made that impossible. I used to leave a list of very specific "wants". Brands, sizes, colors, weights, etc. She'd use it but didn't like it because I'd always "know" what what coming. Never a surprise. Give up man, this is one you can't win.
 
Our reply to her "stock reply" would be:

(https://i.postimg.cc/Vv1vwWTp/imagesqtbn-ANd9-Gc-Qb-Ny-UWdmit-F5d-Ev-T7-HB-zps9a9f65f7.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

To address your comment highlighted above: We already knew that. You are (or at least should be) asking the question for you and our reply is for you and no one else. If you've allowed your significant other to join the Shanty and they know who you are or (worse yet) share your login, you're on your own and there is no hope for you. No disrespect to those that have done this or any significant others that may be reading this reply. To put this all in perspective please refer to this: https://www.iceshanty.com/ice_fishing/index.php?topic=348485.msg3710926#msg3710926 (https://www.iceshanty.com/ice_fishing/index.php?topic=348485.msg3710926#msg3710926)

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 16, 2019, 07:36 PM
So if serious Qs are allowed, here's one----Why do farts follow you(or more correctly, me) around after the fact. Can't just perk 'em in a corner/

That answer lies in the physics of air movement. You fart and stay where you are the fart stays with you. Busted. You fart and move away. The negative air pressure created by your movement allows the fart to occupy that negative space and seemingly "follow you". Busted. You'll never "park" a fart unless it's in the same space as you are. Sorry, that's just the way it works. That said there are lotsa ways to have fun with farts but that's another question and you didn't ask it.

Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: maddogg on Sep 17, 2019, 07:41 PM
If I fly faster than the speed of light can I see myself behind me in the rear view mirror?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 18, 2019, 08:29 AM
If I fly faster than the speed of light can I see myself behind me in the rear view mirror?

Really only a hypothetical scenario since nothing has ever been observed that travels faster than the speed of light. IF this were the case you would see nothing in the mirror as your theoretical speed would be faster than the light from the image in the mirror. An interesting question that wonders if anything at all might be reflected and what it might be. Notice how we phrased a potential question as a statement as to not hijack your original question  ;)2


That said, IF you could actually go that fast you better watch where the heck you're going and forget about the rear view mirror.

Next question.



Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Sep 18, 2019, 09:07 AM
That answer lies in the physics of air movement. You fart and stay where you are the fart stays with you. Busted. You fart and move away. The negative air pressure created by your movement allows the fart to occupy that negative space and seemingly "follow you". Busted. You'll never "park" a fart unless it's in the same space as you are. Sorry, that's just the way it works. That said there are lotsa ways to have fun with farts but that's another question and you didn't ask it.

Next question.

Oh, udunno---that one does not pass the smell test. Where did you study physics, at the Julliard School?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Eyes R Bitin on Sep 18, 2019, 09:24 AM
So if serious Qs are allowed, here's one----Why do farts follow you(or more correctly, me) around after the fact. Can't just perk 'em in a corner/
Leading to a question I’ve pondered for some time.  At -20* breath turns to “steam” when you exhale. That’s a given. If you fart in a similar setting, does you butt steam?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: stinkyfingers on Sep 18, 2019, 10:01 AM
That answer lies in the physics of air movement. You fart and stay where you are the fart stays with you. Busted. You fart and move away. The negative air pressure created by your movement allows the fart to occupy that negative space and seemingly "follow you". Busted. You'll never "park" a fart unless it's in the same space as you are. Sorry, that's just the way it works. That said there are lotsa ways to have fun with farts but that's another question and you didn't ask it.

Next question.
[/quote
Air movement dynamics may also somehow inform why campfire smoke follows me in most ambient air conditions no matter where I stand, even in a gentle breeze. The only benefit I've found is that it disguises me from the mosquitos but at the cost of burning eyes and hacking coughs. Any remedies O Wise One? Also, is there a method to get a certain class of flatulence to somehow "adhere" to an innocent bystander while you casually wander out of range of suspicion?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 18, 2019, 10:30 AM

Air movement dynamics may also somehow inform why campfire smoke follows me in most ambient air conditions no matter where I stand, even in a gentle breeze. The only benefit I've found is that it disguises me from the mosquitos but at the cost of burning eyes and hacking coughs. Any remedies O Wise One? Also, is there a method to get a certain class of flatulence to somehow "adhere" to an innocent bystander while you casually wander out of range of suspicion?

I've heard the cigars I enjoy described as "a certain class of flatulence" but it works on flying pests for me. Regarding the actual campfire smoke, you're at the mercy of Mother Nature and the prevailing thermals, breezes or winds.

As  for dumping gas on innocent bystanders I've had good results with putting on the "stink face" while sidling away looking disapprovingly at the intended victim. Their innocent look comes across as insincere and you're off the hook. Trouble is you're still in the neighborhood and discussion can ensue. Especially if there are only the two of you. Good luck with that.

See also: https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Spray-Stink-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B01G2R9LNG/ref=asc_df_B01G2R9LNG/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309804208987&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6591153207923369369&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018747&hvtargid=pla-553997671627&psc=1 (https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Spray-Stink-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B01G2R9LNG/ref=asc_df_B01G2R9LNG/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309804208987&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6591153207923369369&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018747&hvtargid=pla-553997671627&psc=1)

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: stinkyfingers on Sep 18, 2019, 12:41 PM
[quote author=esox_xtm link=topic=348485.msg3999016#msg3999016 date=1568820655

 
See also: https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Spray-Stink-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B01G2R9LNG/ref=asc_df_B01G2R9LNG/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309804208987&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6591153207923369369&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018747&hvtargid=pla-553997671627&psc=1 (https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Spray-Stink-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B01G2R9LNG/ref=asc_df_B01G2R9LNG/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309804208987&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6591153207923369369&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018747&hvtargid=pla-553997671627&psc=1)

Next question.
[/quote]
That's certainly a good value on Stem Club's version of "Fart in a Can", though many purists will turn their noses up at the thought of some flatulent wannabe trying to foist off any scent other than what Mother Nature has blessed us with. There's an argument to be made, however, in favor of the battery powered fart machine, also available on Amazon. YouTube has several excellent videos showing one in use at a Walmart by a true master of nonchalance. Also good for lightening up a dreary Thanksgiving dinner as my niece once demonstrated.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: OldSailor on Sep 18, 2019, 02:08 PM
Can a bald man get dandruff??
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 18, 2019, 04:12 PM
Can a bald man get dandruff??

Yes. Don't ask how I know. :-\

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SLAYERFISH on Sep 18, 2019, 05:57 PM
Yes. Don't ask how I know. :-\

I think that's seborrhea or psoriasis. ;D
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: stinkyfingers on Sep 19, 2019, 08:51 AM
I want to try portable holes this season. How many of the 8" model will fit in a five gallon bucket? How do you keep them all from falling through the bottom?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DLB on Sep 19, 2019, 09:37 AM
I want to try portable holes this season. How many of the 8" model will fit in a five gallon bucket? How do you keep them all from falling through the bottom?

OOO...OOO  I know...Let me answer...an air hook of course.   
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 19, 2019, 11:35 AM
I want to try portable holes this season. How many of the 8" model will fit in a five gallon bucket? How do you keep them all from falling through the bottom?

Hey stinky, are we a little forgetful? You were going to order these 2 years ago and had some concerns.

This year I've invested in some portable holes to save the labor of hauling out an auger. What's the best way to carry them out onto the ice? They just fall through whatever I put them in. 
Thank you.

Here was my reply:

Don't worry about it. UPS or FedEx won't be able to hang on to 'em either so you'll never get 'em. Keep looking for options.

Next question

Please note the date... ::)

Seriously stinky, this ain't gonna happen. If the vendor can find 'em to ship, shipping service doesn't lose 'em, you'll never find 'em when you want 'em and if you actually get to fish with them... Just use your imagination when you go to pick them up  :roflmao:

IFH also supposes you had imaginary friends when you were little.  ;)2

Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tater140 on Sep 19, 2019, 12:11 PM
Just found this thread... i love it.

How do i get my ropeless anchor back?  Im beginning to think it was a gimmick.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 19, 2019, 01:50 PM
Just found this thread... i love it.

How do i get my ropeless anchor back?  Im beginning to think it was a gimmick.

Well if it started out ropeless, P.T. Barnum said it, "There's a sucker born every minute". You
may be proof of that. However, IF it started out WITH a rope and became ropeless that's a different issue altogether.

#1 - Learn to tie a better knot. Heaven knows if you've lost an anchor how many fish have been subjects of "quick release".

#2 - A strong magnet on it's own rope may be useful for retrieval if you know the exact location. I once rescued a spud from 14 FOW like that.

Lastly, if you really bought into a "ropeless anchor" we have vacation land in Florida for sale or a wonderful bridge in Brooklyn. Make ya a smokin' deal on a combo package!  ;)2

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline.

Next question.

Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chris338378 on Sep 19, 2019, 05:42 PM
Why is brass threaded counter clockwise and all other metals are threaded clock wise?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Agronomist_at_IA on Sep 19, 2019, 09:22 PM
If the atom is basicly 80% empty space. And everything is made from atoms.....why don't we fall through the earth if it is made of atoms that are 80% empty space.

Also if a neutron star is basicly made of atoms that have been compacted to be close to o% empty space and a sugar cube of its matter would have the mass of Mount Everest.......why the heck are we using tungsten jigs ice fishing yet.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 20, 2019, 07:00 AM
Why is brass threaded counter clockwise and all other metals are threaded clock wise?

Not sure what you're asking here Chris. I've got a box full of conventionally threaded (righty tighty, lefty loosey) brass machine screws and nuts and another box with several brass plumbing fittings also with a right hand thread. The steel screws that secure chucks in my power drills are all lefties.

Based on our experience, unless you can be more specific, the IFH answer must be they are not.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 20, 2019, 08:12 AM
If the atom is basicly 80% empty space. And everything is made from atoms.....why don't we fall through the earth if it is made of atoms that are 80% empty space.

Also if a neutron star is basically made of atoms that have been compacted to be close to o% empty space and a sugar cube of its matter would have the mass of Mount Everest.......why the heck are we using tungsten jigs ice fishing yet.

Goody... science questions!  ;D

A.) It's not just atoms Agro. Those little bits of mass link or bond together to form molecules. Most everything we interact with in the universe occurs at that molecular level hence no "falling through an atoms' empty space".

B.) You can already imagine what's gonna happen here but we'll lay it out for you. A sugar cube is approximately 0.465 inches on each edge. A quick volume calc using the equation v = a3, where a = the edge, comes to 0.1005 cubic inches. A 3mm ice jig, let’s call it a sphere and not account for the hook, using the equation Volume = 4⁄3 × π × 1.5³ has a volume of 14.1371 cubic mm. Since one cubic inch equals 16387.1 cubic mm our sugar cube is comprised of 1646.8999 cubic mm. Divide that sugar cube to see how much of that might be our ice jig leaves us with about 116 3mm ice jigs crammed into that sugar cube of space. This assumes that said jigs are not left spherical but compressed so their matter occupies the equivalent space of a sugar cube.

 Now, here comes the magic. The estimated mass of Mt. Everest (thanks to Al Gore International Library) is some 357 trillion pounds. That’s 357,000,000,000,000 pounds! If you had only one 3mm ice jig made from something of the density of that neutron star (remember all that mass jammed in a sugar cube?) we’ve got to divide that big trillion number by 116. That leaves us with one single 3mm ice jig that weighs some 3,077,586,206,897 pounds!

Short answer to your last question: Because you can actually carry an assortment of tungsten in your pocket but you couldn't even carry one made of neutron star stuff.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 20, 2019, 08:16 AM
Leading to a question I’ve pondered for some time.  At -20* breath turns to “steam” when you exhale. That’s a given. If you fart in a similar setting, does you butt steam?

Almost missed this.

Your butt won't but the fart will if you expel it directly into the cold air. See also other examples of steaming bodily waste, both solid and liquid. Additionally, if you add an open flame, the answer is yes, they do burn.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: ActiveTrapChecker on Sep 20, 2019, 09:05 AM
Are doughnuts standard or metric?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: hays47 on Sep 20, 2019, 03:38 PM
Are doughnuts standard or metric?

My answer to this. Doughnut  batter made with standard measures i.e cup,tablespoon ,pinch would result in Standard doughtnuts.

So the reverse doughnut batter made with metric measures would result in Metric doughnuts.

Personally when working with someone who asked for something in metric terms. I never knew wether I needed a thimble , a gallon bucket , a wheelbarrow , or a semi to deliver it.

The OFFICIAL answer may deeply defer from my prattle.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tater140 on Sep 20, 2019, 04:49 PM
Would you rather have legs as long as your fingers or fingers as long as your legs?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: perchnut on Sep 20, 2019, 07:44 PM
speaking of doughnuts.......the best I ever had was a fresh out of the oven and frosted apple fritter at a Timmy Hortons up in Canada when we were up there ice fishing....it was sub zero, Fahrenheit , and it was oh so good....but alas, I am now off of doughnuts, and am going to make some keto friendly sausage gravy this weekend....
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Muggsy on Sep 20, 2019, 08:00 PM
Oh Wise One, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 23, 2019, 06:53 PM
Are doughnuts standard or metric?

This is Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

Depends on if they are made in the US or anywhere else in the world. But we expect you knew (or at least supposed) that. If all the ingredients are weighed or measured in pounds/ounces or cups/ tea or tablespoons and baked in a Fahrenheit calibrated oven and the finished product is measured in ounces and inches they turn out standard. If ingredients are weighed/measured grams/ccs and baked in a Celsius calibrated oven and that finished product is measured in grams and mm they turn out metric. Common sense.

The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!

I was warned in 5th grade science class (circa 1963) that by the time I was in high school that "English/Standard/whatever" measurements would be gone and EVERYTHING would be metric. Thppppppp! Mr. Gunderson you big fat liar!

IFH rant over.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 23, 2019, 07:05 PM
Would you rather have legs as long as your fingers or fingers as long as your legs?

Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

This is an apples to oranges comparison. Properly phrased it would have asked, "Would you rather have legs as long as your arms or fingers as long as your toes?" Still kind of a confusing question.

For the first part, I have unusually long arms for my height. They may well be as long as my legs. I'm just glad my knuckles don't drag on the ground. To your original question: Really? I already waddle a bit when I walk and short legs would just make it worse. Pass.

To the second part, fingers as long as my toes... Ahhhh, nope. I already have trouble enough tying a proper knot and stubby fingers wouldn't help that one bit. As far as your original question: That's an intriguing thought. Fingers three feet long. Think of the possibilities.  ;)2 Of course gloves would be tough to find. We'll think about it but probably not that either.

Next (ridiculous) question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 23, 2019, 07:09 PM
Oh Wise One, why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

OK Muggsy. Your flattery gets you nowhere, you're fired. You have obviously NOT read this entire thread.  :callcops:  If you had you would know it has already been asked multiple times. Nope, I'm not posting a link to the question/replies. Sorry (sorta). Read and enjoy...  ;)2

Thanks for calling Ice fishing Hotline. Next caller Billy!!!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Sep 23, 2019, 09:25 PM
Still have not answered my question about Juliard---tick tock, tick tock!!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Sep 24, 2019, 09:18 AM
Still have not answered my question about Juliard---tick tock, tick tock!!


Ice Fishing Hotline, thanks for holding. Your call is important to us!

That's just really odd Sir, I KNOW I typed a response to this. I know because I proofread at least a couple of times before I post and can remember the gist of the reply. Sometimes, if someone else posts a reply while I'm typing and just hit post without realizing that I need to review my post and hit "Post" again my post doesn't. Of course, I'll never remember my exact reply so allow us to offer a facsimile answer to your question.

My physics class was high school level and both aerodynamics and fluid dynamics were chapters in that course. Examples of my first reply to you (about why your natural gas follows you around) were based on lessons there. Also presented in that answer were a couple of good examples supporting the argument.

1.) From HS chem class - never smell anything directly. Use your hand to gently waft any odors/aromas from a test tube or beaker and sample judiciously lest the substance be corrosive or toxic. The principle of the movement of your hand moving air from over the container parallels your situation.

2.) In a technique called "drafting", a vehicle closely following another vehicle can be literally pulled along (not completely of course) behind the leading vehicles slipstream. The same negative air space phenomenon applies. For more information see NASCAR drafting. Also used by commercial trucks on public highways.

3.) My music career started at age 10 in the school marching band. I played the trombone. No, not by choice and don't ask. It's still a sore spot which I have yet to forgive both my parents and my brother  ::). At age 14 I took up bass guitar and was self-taught (FWIW). That lasted until i was 22 and realized I would never be a rock star. At least in music with any kind of guitar. I still whistle a lot and sing some but nobody wants to listen to that either. So no, there's no Julliard in my history for science or music.

BTW "Juliard" is spelled with two Ls...  :callcops: ;)2

Better?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Eyes R Bitin on Oct 03, 2019, 01:05 PM
Maybe everyone already knows and I’ve missed it somehow but how did an ice rod looking like a green headed duck with a red body get to be named the “Green Hornet”?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 03, 2019, 01:22 PM
Maybe everyone already knows and I’ve missed it somehow but how did an ice rod looking like a green headed duck with a red body get to be named the “Green Hornet”?

Floats like a duck (unless there's a 6# walleye on the other end and you ain't payin' attention), stings like a bee (hornet works). Catches fish like the masked crime fighter catches criminals!

"The Green Hornets' caught more fish than you've lied about Gustafson!"

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chris338378 on Oct 03, 2019, 04:09 PM
Why is the pepperoni on frozen pizza a lot spicier than any pepperoni you buy in the store?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 03, 2019, 05:56 PM
Why is the pepperoni on frozen pizza a lot spicier than any pepperoni you buy in the store?

A.) IFH is so broken ain't much that's too hot. In most cases we can't distinguish between levels of hot intended for normal people. So...

B.) Give me the name of the frozen pizzas you're buying  ;)

C.) Be willing to pony up for better pepperoni at the store.

D,) Just add some habbie flakes to your pizza and you'll never notice  :roflmao:

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Oct 03, 2019, 06:48 PM

"The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!"

Now that is a dammed serious question!! Those units are IMPERIAL units not "US customary" units as they are sometimes erroneously referred to. One would thing that the US would be eager to get rid of a system developed by their former masters, the Brits!! Temp is the most glaring example---water freezes at 0 and boils at 100!! what could be more simple. It amazes, and disappoints, me when I hear Canadians(yet), esp the younger ones, referring to temps in Fariengobblegook. In Canada we are unofficially only partly converted.  You Americans have a bad influence on us!! Here's my question---when are you folks going to smarten up and get with the program???
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 03, 2019, 07:13 PM
"The real question here is why, oh why, can't we just convert everything in this country to metric and get in step with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world. Gallons of gas and milk, liters of alcohol, bread bought with a net weight in grams and the "standard" weight following in parenthesis, beads for fishing lures measured in mm and lure bodies weighed in fractions of an ounce... C'mon man!"

Now that is a dammed serious question!! Here's my question---when are you folks going to smarten up and get with the program???

THAT is the one question that IFH cannot presume to answer as that answer is out of our control and meets no standard of common sense. PLEEEEEASE, powers that be! Cannot America be standardized with the rest of the civilized (and uncivilized) world for Pete's sake???

Auggggggggh!

Sir, if were up to me we'd have been there before we saw the 70's. Just sayin'...

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Light liner on Oct 04, 2019, 11:50 AM
Whats the deal with rhode island?
Its not a road or an island?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: DR.SPECKLER on Oct 04, 2019, 12:18 PM
Im in.hahaha like that esox?lol
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 04, 2019, 02:20 PM
Whats the deal with rhode island?
Its not a road or an island?

A day late and probably a dollar short as well. Already addressed in this thread:

Rhode Islanders are very forward thinkers. As global warming progresses it will become an island and they just wanted to be prepared.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 04, 2019, 02:24 PM
Im in.hahaha like that esox?lol

Better in than out. Better up than down. More better in AND out AND up AND down. But that's as far as I'm going on a family site.  :o

Yes, the Doctor is IN! And, per your comment on the now locked thread: It is I that is ridiculous!  ;)2
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: maddogg on Oct 05, 2019, 10:50 AM
Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: matt12 on Oct 05, 2019, 10:56 AM
Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?

X2
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 05, 2019, 11:27 AM
Will it ever stop raining here in Wisconsin?

No. Obviously. It's not the Atacama Desert...

FWIW I'm a little tired of it too. Been at this house 20 years but the last couple everything is getting green with moss.  >:(

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Oct 05, 2019, 11:42 AM
Why does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain?? Maybe provide a scientific answer rather than your usual BS! ;D ::)l
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 05, 2019, 12:03 PM
Why does the rain in Spain fall mostly on the plain?? Maybe provide a scientific answer rather than your usual BS! ;D ::)l

Fine. Have it your way  ;).

Consider that fully 80% of the land area in Spain is only 2,400 feet or less above sea level. What are the odds that rain will fall mostly on the plains rather than on what passes for mountains? Do the math.

Beyond that as moist air masses move onto land masses they tend to condense up against cooler mountainous regions dumping much of their moisture before they get to higher elevations. Any that is left most often falls as snow so not rain. Got it?

Of course now you must pass, fail or correct me. Bring it!  :roflmao:

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: maddogg on Oct 05, 2019, 03:09 PM
Why do I have Cheetos dust on my fingers when I get up in the morning ( there are no Cheetos in the house-ever)?
My ice rods are covered with the orange stuff. HELP
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 05, 2019, 04:41 PM
Why do I have Cheetos dust on my fingers when I get up in the morning ( there are no Cheetos in the house-ever)?
My ice rods are covered with the orange stuff. HELP

Apparently you have entered a parallel universe in your dream state. In that universe the only thing to eat is Cheetos explaining why your fingers display the tell-tale orange dust when you rejoin your real world on awakening. Licking the dust off your fingers before you handle your ice rods should eliminate or, at least, minimize the mess.

We are pleased to hear that it is only your fingers and ice rods that have been affected by the orange dust. Could be worse...  ::)

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Agronomist_at_IA on Oct 05, 2019, 10:24 PM
Will vexilar Fire the idiot that dropped the dual and or tribeam transducer.......I hope they do.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: tater140 on Oct 06, 2019, 06:12 AM
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 06, 2019, 08:19 AM
Will vexilar Fire the idiot that dropped the dual and or tribeam transducer.......I hope they do.

Even though there was no question mark in your sentence it was still phrased as a question.

The answer is not necessarily. Perhaps he was onto something that would have rendered your multi-beam transducers obsolete anyway. Maybe he'll be the hero.

Or he'll be the one that says, "You know what guys? Been lotsa unexpected negative feedback on droppin' the multi-beams. Maybe we should bring 'em back."

Or they're all idiots and couldn't catch a goldfish in a bowl much less make good corporate decisions. Get a Marcum...  :P
DISCLAIMER: Ridiculous answers are for entertainment value only. No actual disrespect for the Vexilar company or their customers is intended.

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 06, 2019, 08:22 AM
Do fish ever get thirsty?

Really? That's like asking if I lived at the Don Julio distillery would I ever run out of tequila. Let me rephrase that so it's clear:

No.

Next question.


Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: buuddy on Oct 06, 2019, 08:38 AM
Really? That's like asking if I lived at the Don Julio distillery would I ever run out of tequila. Let me rephrase that so it's clear:

No.

Next question.
I know this thread is meant to be humorous but the answer depends on the type of fish in question, and it deals with the osmosis process. Freshwater fish don't need to drink, but saltwater fish need to drink constantly.
http://yourontarioresearch.ca/curiosity-shop-answers/do-fish-ever-get-thirsty/
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 06, 2019, 08:52 AM
I know this thread is meant to be humorous but the answer depends on the type of fish in question, and it deals with the osmosis process. Freshwater fish don't need to drink, but saltwater fish need to drink constantly.
http://yourontarioresearch.ca/curiosity-shop-answers/do-fish-ever-get-thirsty/

Thanks for sharing the educational link buuudy. That's what I get for not consulting the Al Gore International Library for all of my answers. Since I learned something new, this day has now become officially "not wasted". The original question however was not whether fish drank or not, it asked do they ever get thirsty. To quote from your link:

"Drinking in fish is considered to be a reflex and is thought to occur without any thirst arousal. Thus, although fish drink, that doesn't necessarily mean that they get thirsty! Current thinking suggests that they don't."

I'd say despite my silliness I wasn't too far off...

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline.

Next caller Billy!
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chris338378 on Oct 07, 2019, 06:22 PM
When it comes to boat capacities why do they use 150 pounds for a person's weight? 
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 07, 2019, 06:53 PM
When it comes to boat capacities why do they use 150 pounds for a person's weight?
For the same reason they say @ 5'10" I'm supposed to weight 160#. Geez... I got down to 165 once and everyone started pushin' me around. I couldn't even get any respect from toddlers! Always did best about 180 - 190. Built like the proverbial brick $h1+house. "Course now I'm pushin' 250# and that ain't happy either.

As far as your boat goes, eyeball the passengers, do the math and proceed accordingly. FWIW I'm probably gonna be over cap this coming weekend in my boat.Got 4 guys and I'll be the second lightest  :o. So going nowhere fast, mind the traffic, make sure PFDs are easily available for all and, at all costs, enjoy myself! My boat is maxed out for hp but with a full load like that it would be dangerous to go racing around. I'm just gonna pretend it's a pontoon...  ;)2

Short answer: Go on a diet and stop worrying.  :P

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Chris338378 on Oct 07, 2019, 07:01 PM
Why is it every time when the weathermen and women are calling for a big snow storm do people run to the store and buy all the milk and bread?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 07, 2019, 07:17 PM
Why is it every time when the weathermen and women are calling for a big snow storm do people run to the store and buy all the milk and bread?

Thanks for calling Ice Fishing Hotline! You must be very bored, you call two times!  ;)2

Because:

A.) They actually believe the "worst scenario" weather forecasts and believe the end of the world is just around the corner.

B.) They were born in the 20th century and are not invested in regular road clearing, all/front/4WD, or are afraid to drive in 2 inches (or more) of snow. Also they probably do not own a freezer and if they do, they have no idea what's in it.

C.) Are completely in awe of people that can survive on little other than peanuts and tequila for several days.

D.) Have no idea how to improvise, adapt or diversify. These are hopeless folks.

FWIW, they can have all the milk and bread they want. All we're interested in is tequila and peanuts...  :P

Next question.
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: Watertooner on Oct 07, 2019, 08:50 PM
Next caller Billy!

Who's Billy? Your call screener? Male or Female?

--revised as one question: Is Billy a female call screener?
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: esox_xtm on Oct 07, 2019, 09:11 PM
Who's Billy? Your call screener? Male or Female?

--revised as one question: Is Billy a female call screener?

Imaginary call screener.  Yes.  Hmmm. Hadn't thought about that... "Billy" kind of implies male whereas "Billie" would imply female. Since "Billy" is imaginary it really doesn't matter.

But I'm gonna think about it... ;D Because it might! Thanks!

Next question(s).
Title: Re: What's your question???
Post by: SirCranksalot on Oct 07, 2019, 09:24 PM



D.) Have no idea how to improvise, adapt or diversify. These are hopeless folks.


[/quote]

Not a question-----This is a reminder of what happened a few years back in the Toronto area in Dec. Big ice storm, major power failure. But some people had food spoil because their fridge or freezer didn't work!! ;D ::)  One of the biggest freezers in the world----just outside their door---The Great Canadian Outdoors!!  As they say, you can't make this stuff up!! ;D ::)