Did not see that coming.......a little pissed

[Fry Flier]

I am both hard water and a soft water fisher. I upgraded my sonar and fishfinder outfits a few times during the past 3-5 years. Had a person I know tell me that they were having a hard time finding fish and having no luck. I asked what he used for electronics? " No electronics he could not afford any.  Well, I had a spare Lowrance all seasons Elite3 and said "hey look I have this unit at home sitting in my basement would you like it to use it?" Happy he was and I myself was feeling good until recently when he told me "sold my boat"  me "that is good" now you can use the 3 elite more for ice fishing" him"no that was part of the deal" I know I wrote the system off last year when I gave it to him to use, I guess I just was not prepared to have him sell it......grrrr

[bobberbill]

I'd be pissed, too. I think he owes you something, but I doubt if that will happen. Let him know that it was not a gift and move on.

[bouncin_toads]

They should be taking you out in their boat pretty much anywhere you want to go fishing then to pay ya back that way at least.

[Fry Flier]

I'd be pissed, too. I think he owes you something, but I doubt if that will happen. Let him know that it was not a gift and move on.

I am moving on, I would have been happy if he said something like "I gave it away, I hope you don't mind" or I was not using it and I know a guy, gal that would appreciate it. Rant done...... Thanks for letting me vent bobberbill

[uncleshorty]

I worked with an engineer from Columbia who gave me my real education in power systems.

He was a smart guy and this is what he always said about loaning vehicles, tools, gear and etc.

"If someone asks you for something give them your wife.  Because you KNOW what they'll do with your wife but you have NO IDEA what they'll do with your stuff..."

That guy's not your friend, Fry...

[Kevin23]

Ive given things to friends, and friends have given things to me.. an unwritten man rule is you never sell something a friend has given you... Dunno if it would piss me off, but would definitely make me disappointed if the person did it and did not NEED the money

[Fry Flier]

Ive given things to friends, and friends have given things to me.. an unwritten man rule is you never sell something a friend has given you... Dunno if it would piss me off, but would definitely make me disappointed if the person did it and did not NEED the money

This is so true, If I remember right one of the statements I made was, and not a conditions do not  sell this, give it away or give it back  "  But to be truthful this is only a memory, not a fact"

[FishGut]

sorry you got burned.

If I'm lending stuff out to a beginner, I  kinda expect it to be broken within the first use or two. That's why kids get the plain old 5 inch B&W ice graphing unit versus the old one that has GPS, custom maps and loaded waypoints.

[Roccus]

I think alot of us could tell a similar story,  people have tendency to forget and have short memories,  sadly, it's a lesson learned,  and time to exercise  your short memory.

[FishingPhotographer]

sorry you got burned.

If I'm lending stuff out to a beginner, I  kinda expect it to be broken within the first use or two. That's why kids get the plain old 5 inch B&W ice graphing unit versus the old one that has GPS, custom maps and loaded waypoints.

Exactly, fishgut! Take a peek at my pay it forward listing on here. 👍🏻

[stripernut]

Nice that he sold the boat and now has money to buy his own sounder, as he won't be borrowing one of mine... If he did buy a new sounder I would be happy for him... I try to think of it as; I gave it to him, it is his to do with as he pleases, that said I would not be offering anything else...

[Scranton Joe]

I am both hard water and a soft water fisher. I upgraded my sonar and fishfinder outfits a few times during the past 3-5 years. Had a person I know tell me that they were having a hard time finding fish and having no luck. I asked what he used for electronics? " No electronics he could not afford any.  Well, I had a spare Lowrance all seasons Elite3 and said "hey look I have this unit at home sitting in my basement would you like it to use it?" Happy he was and I myself was feeling good until recently when he told me "sold my boat"  me "that is good" now you can use the 3 elite more for ice fishing" him"no that was part of the deal" I know I wrote the system off last year when I gave it to him to use, I guess I just was not prepared to have him sell it......grrrr

He had it one year and then sold it off?

Wow.  That's nuts.

[DR.SPECKLER]

Two thing that are not game to be sold.a gift from a family member or friend,something someone let you borrow.

[river_scum]

thats one of those guys you dont need in your life.  they just take advantage of others.  id tell him he owes me a finder or else.  the else costs way more.

[Dave R]

I learned a long time ago, that when you give something away, it is no longer yours.

[BlueDuck]

You could borrow something from him.  And sell it.

[JohnnyO19]

Ive given things to friends, and friends have given things to me.. an unwritten man rule is you never sell something a friend has given you...

And you return it in better shape, (or at least in the same condition) as it was when it was given to you. If not, you replace it.

[Ice_Fly_Guy]

That's not cool.  I once sold an old Ford Escort to a co-worker, sort of friend who was down on his luck, for pretty cheap.  He then turned around and sold it for a profit like 3 days later.  I was livid.  We don't speak anymore.

[hammerhandle315]

Id borrow his lawnmower

[fishermantim]

The big difference that people are forgetting is the difference between using and having.

If someone says "You can USE my tools, it's not the same as saying "You can HAVE my tools"

Using implies return when done using.
Having means it's yours to do with as you please.

You could crassly ask him "So how much did you get for OUR gear?"
Then, when he says "Huh?" you can explain the difference between use and have.

He should have asked you before including it in ANY deal.

This falls into the "one strike and you're out" rule.
(Or the fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me scenario)

If he asks you to borrow anything again, politely remind him that if he wants to, he will need "collateral" in case he sells whatever he borrows...

Then explain why so he will understand where he messed up.

[Kourcha]

does not sound like the guy was really that into fishing to begin with? especially if he sold the boat I assume you went fishing with the guy personally I would think you could tell how serious he was with a couple fishing trips before giving him gear that clearly you didn't want to see sold in such a manner. Sounds like a crappy situation but I dont think I wouldve giving away gear to someone who wasn't as serious with it as I was

[ChrisL]

Stuff like this happens, there is not a lot you can do.  I make sure I am clear "I want this back" or "I right of first refusal if you are getting rid of it."

I am also very clear in the receiving direction that the title has been transferred to me or I think I am.

Years ago my buddy blew out the hydrostatic transmission on his tractor.  I was fixing up tractors for fun and offered to take it, not repair it, but take it for disposal/parts.

I took it, cleaned it up, dissembled the transmission, lapped the swash plates, put it back together and it ran great.  As I was getting ready to sell it for probably $800, my wife mentioned something to his wife and now he "wanted it back."  I was out $800 and 5 hours of my time, but it was not worth losing a friendship over. 
  The worst part is neither of them were even thankful to me. 
Chris

[Rebelss]

At the least, the clown could have shown some courtesy and called and asked you. Not real hard to do.

[Ice_Fly_Guy]

  I guess I really don't know why you haven't talked to him.  Your intent was to help him out and apparently you ended up helping him out more then you thought.  You should be happy, not pissed at him.  When I do something to help out others, I do it based on the assumption that they are better off than they were before I intervened, that is my intent.  And it would appear to me that he was better off after you gave him the car.  You should be happy for him and kind to yourself, for being generous not angry.  Being angry negated your kindness!  And for those out there wondering, my wife and I gave a car away instead of selling it.  We considered it as belonging to the new owner, as soon as we handed over the keys and they could do whatever they pleased with it.  Just my opinion!

If he'd have used the money towards a better vehicle or something useful, that would have been great, but I think he just bought dope with it.

[skifisher]

Another “life lesson”…chalk it up to experience!

[BrianF]

This has happened to me quite a bit with a person. He is family but still....

I'm good at selling things so I will almost always start there ahead of any offering to friends or family. Then, if I do "lend" them something, I tell them the replacement cost expected if they ruin, sell, or lose it.

I have also seen this when giving away stuff on Craigslist. You give something away to someone that claims it is for them and they are having a hard time and an hour later it is reposted for good $ and possibly even overpriced. They are simply resellers scamming. Was pretty bad during the pandemic for a while. I saw someone post something (weight set) for literally 4x of what I sold it to him for an hour later and yes, he claimed it was for his nephew that wanted to play football but needed to get stronger. BS.

I do think this is more and more of a generational thing though. I admit, both my kids are like this and lazy AF. Hand is out facing up for a handout instead of in a position to help.

[fishermantim]

.... Hand is out facing up for a handout instead of in a position to help.

Looking for a handout instead of a helping hand.

Sadly, it's become more commonplace with the "entitlement" crowd. You know, the people the "expect" to be given things instead of working for them.

As for the learning experience, chalk it up as a means of avoiding these social scabs and move on.
If they ever get up the nerve to question your actions/motives, read them the riot act and gauge their reactions.
If it was a lapse in judgement, they will be very apologetic. If it's a character flaw (etched in stone) they will become defensive and will complain and claim that YOU have an issue. (That's their attempt to confuse you and guilt you into capitulating to their requests)